Don't Speak: Don't Think Of Me II
by Cloud Albatou
Summary: Sometimes, when you think you've won and everything is the way it should be...its all just an illusion waiting to be cracked....**Formaly Carousel Of Silence**
1. Rock'd You Like A Hurricane

A.n.-Hiya^_^I wasn't really planing on writeing a sequel...but when I was hearing this song "Torn" and "Rock You Like A Hurrican" and Carousel" I couldn't help myself^_^. I hope ya'all like this sequel as much as "Don't Think Of Me"^_^. For those of you who haven't read DTOM...you'd probably understand this fic better if you read it first 'cause I will probably make a few references to it....^_~Enjoy the fic^_^Oh, to avoid confusion of the charecters the reincarnations will have the same names as they did before^_^  
  
Oh, and for those of you reading "Dark Flame" or "Without You" or "The Night You Were Mine" I'll have the next chappie up soon promise^_~Sadly, the first chappie of this belongs to *shudder* Anzu, mainly becouse for this story to work I needed it to be....next chappie will be up soon if ya'all reivew^_~  
  
  
Dissclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "Rock You Like A Hurrican" by The Scorpions.  
  
Dedication-To everyone who supported my fic "Don't Think of Me". I'd type down all your names, but you know who you are^_~. Thankyou all for everything, this sequel is for you^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Its early morning, the sun comes out  
Last night was shakeing and really loud  
My cat is purring, it scratchs my skin  
So what is wrong with another sin?~  
  
~The bitch is hungery, she needs to tell  
So give her inches, and feed her well  
More days to come, new places to go  
I've got to leave, its time for the show~  
  
My mind felt numb, my once pleasure filled body wracked with hystaria and shock. My current lover had left a few hours before. Unwilling to stay any longer. I don't blame him much really. Though he could have comforted me a litle better. He won't be visiting the paradise that is me for a long time....if ever again.  
  
I toke a deep breath, trying to still the frantic beat of my heart. Pain was flying through my mind at a hyper-speed. Tears were falling down my cheeks in an unstoppable flow. Memories that I knew were my own yet weren't flashed through me. Pain, lust, love even filled my frazled senses. I'd never felt this way...it was so intense....so....*real*....   
  
I rolled over on my back, my skin felt hot and pounding, the very rustleing of my sheets against my flesh was far too much for me to bear. I threw them off, my breath comeing in fast gasps. I'd never felt this way before. So alive. The world was spinning, an insane laughter I barely recoginized as my own rang loudly in my ears.   
  
The image of a teenaged boy my age with wild silver hair, deeply mesmerizeing hard brown eyes, and a cruel smirk appeared in my mind. The first thought that came to mind was that weakling worm, fashion-challanged Ryou Bakura...but no...while the white hair and pale white skin of their *was* alike...there was something eles...some line in his hardened features that made them totaly different...some distant rining aura of darkness that rivited through him....a trait far different from that simpering idiot Ryou.  
  
{Yami no Bakura....Hikari and Yami...."}  
  
The voice echoed around me. Sounding like my own and yet not mine at all....The world was ever-shifting suddenly before my gaze. A climbing darkness and deeply buried desire from long ago echoeing through the very air. Filling me so very completely. My very blood burned in my veins, a crazy smile toke my lips.  
  
Fear was riseing hard within me. A distint, ringing feeling deep within was fighting its way to the surface. A precence I'd never known, never cared to think of. Cruelty of endless intensity surged through my very veins. A laugh of pure insanity escaped my rosy lips.  
  
Against my will I rose my forearms to eye level. Ugly, puckered, jagged scars were there. They ran across my wrist and down to my elebows. The only imperfection that my body wore stung at my eyes. I'd done everything I could to get rid of them. Gone to a incence smelling temple and held my fore-arms against the flames for days in the hopes that the legend that the fire would remove all sickness and disfigurement would heal me. It didn't work obviousely.   
  
My skin felt warm and slightly heavy, the feeling of being in water riseing into my senses. The world flashed white before my eyes and suddenly I was somewhere eles. The bathrom was pristinely kept, varies items of make-up and creams carefuly laid out everywhere. I was laying down in a tub of water, a razor blade shifting between my long delecite fingers.  
  
I could see myself simply laying there, a look of deep contemplation stealing my features. I wanted to run forward and ripp the blade from "my" fingers...but I couldn't....I couldn't even move....was I even here? Was this a dream of somesort?! Come on, Anzu, wake up girl! Wake up damn it!!  
  
Nothing.  
  
Not even a twitch of this world.   
  
I watched as "my" lips lifted into a sneer, pictures of the "Yami No Bakura"(The name "I" apparently had choosen for him) flew threw my mind. Me and him together, striveing to reach the peeks of heavenly ecastasy. Utter control over another, a life of dangerous power that was addicting.   
  
A wanton desire that surpassed all the limits, a blinding possesiveness flew threw me for this "Yami No Bakura". He'd been mine once, as he was meant to be. But that spineless little wuss Ryou toke him away from me. I growled out in frustration. Strangely I felt more complete at this moment then I ever had in all my existance. A part of me felt filled with these memories shakeing through my mind.  
  
I watched with tears growing in my eyes the other me make a slash across "my" wrists and up "my" elebows that would creat those grotesque scars I knew so very well...  
  
The scean was so easily recalled. I could remember my muddled thoughts switcheing from a firey desire for revenge, to sudden fear, to acceptence. I watched myself stumble out of the tub and fumble with the lock before falling onto the soft carpet. I watched my breath still to nothing and my deep blue eyes become glazed.   
  
The light flashed again showing me intertwined with "Yami No Bakura". The peeks of desire crashing down through my body, warmth of satisfaction shifting through my ecasaty clouded eyes. Passion of the highest kind had rivited through me by being with him. Excitement at being with the darkest of all the Yamis'.....  
  
The world flashed again and I was back in my bedroom, my breath comeing in harsh burning gasps. My eyes were bulging, sweat drenched my flesh. I looked out my window, dusk was entering the sky. The darkened world of the night slowly going into its rest. Strangly the air seemed to simmer at me, calling my name.   
  
My body ached for one and only one, my heart pounding loudly against my breast for only one being. One entity that had made me want him more then anything in the world just by being there. Danger. Power. Cruelty. It all attracts me like a moth to a flame. And they clung to Yami no Bakura like a second skin...  
  
He was cruel, so very muchly so. But thats part of what made me desire him so. Everywhere he went the strongest men would move out of his way. Not dareing to anger him in the slightest. In a world of sniveleing weaklings, he stood so tall and supreme. Yuugi's Yami inspired burning fear, but not as great as Yami no Bakura. For while the worst Yami would do is crush your soul into oblivioun itself, Bakura had a penchent for tortureing his victems off the brink of insanity.  
  
Delicious. Absoutly intoxicating was the power he held. I wanted him, but I lost him damnation. Ryou never deserved him...he could never measure up to being as right for him as I was--as I still am. Yami no Bakura became my world in an instant. I did everything I thought possible to bind him to me. That wicked spirt of his...so amazing...  
  
But keeping a Yami and his Hikari apart apparently isn't as easy as it would first appear. But Mazaki Anzu has never one to give up. Esspecialy on something that is rightfuly my own!  
  
~Here I am rock'd you like a hurricane   
Here I am rock'd you like a hurricane  
Here I am rock'd you like a hurricane~  
  
~My blood is burning, it starts to shout  
Desire is comeing, it breaks out loud  
Lust is in the cages 'till the storm breaks loose  
Just have to make it with someone I choose~  
  
~The night is calling, I have to go  
The wolf is hungery, he runs the show  
He's licking his lips, he's ready to win  
On the hunt tonight, for love at first sting~  
  
  
Something had happened to me this night. A change within my very soul. It was a completeness that soured through me in a flamboyant breeze...something I'd never known...I'd never felt this alive, never felt this knowing of the world. I knew *who* I was now. Knew what I had to do...what I must do.  
  
I rose slowly from my bed, a purpose forming itself into my mind. A grim determination. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And thats what He had done....thats what they all had done. No matter how I had tried to protect their lousy group of social outcasts and give them worth to their very being.   
  
I felt a sneer lift my lips, my body felt like it was slowly burning. Sweat was makeing its way down my bare flesh as I threw the remains of the covors off me and made my way to my closet. I shifted around through my perfectly stacked belongings before comeing onto what I needed. It was a small box of wiccan belongings an old friend had givein to me a while back. Before she meet with that unexpected demise...she should have been more careful driveing...and she should have stayed away from my territory. Oh well.  
  
I opened the box, running my hand across the old book, cards, and varies other symbols inside. I knew little or nothing about the ways to use what lay inside. But it couldn't be that hard...right? Besides, I had a feeling I was going to need more then words and my reputation to go up against them this time. Yami no Bakura and Yami no Yuugi were probably back my now.  
  
If I was reincarnated then so were they, and it doesn't take an idiot to know that the same Hikari's will by there side. Darling naive too pure Mutou Yuugi and fashion challanged, weak, pathatic Bakura Ryou. Even Jounouchi Katsuya, Ishtal Malik, Valantine Mai....they're all here...ironic isn't it? They haven't changed in the slightest either. As the old saying goes "history repeats itself". Thankfuly, for me, its true--it'll make my revenge all the sweeter. The only difference in this round of the game that we play is that my demise won't be the one repeating itself this time.  
  
I lifted my arm into the riseing light of the sun with anger flasheing through my eyes.   
  
Never again.   
  
A defiant breeze of fury blazed through the very core of my being. The battle was lost so long ago, but the war is far from over. It will never be over until I have what rightfuly belongs to me. I kneeled on the floor, my hands clinching into small fists. My long nails cut lightly into my flesh makeing me uncurl them quickly with a small cry of pain.   
  
Small crecent moons turned red with blood but none flowed down. A maliciouse smirk toke my lips suddenly as I begant to laugh. It bounced off the walls with an insane sensation. And I loved it. Loved this sense of freedom and unfettered power that coursed through my very veins.  
  
Wirlng around, I stared into my full body mirror. My eyes rose from my long, perfectly toned legs to my small waist and full breasts to a face the Gods themselves surely have blessed. Icy blue eyes were alite with a wicked humer, pale skin of perfect complextion streatched over my high-cheakbones and small butten nose. Full red lips were apart a crazy smile to show off my white teeth.   
  
Batting my eyes at my face I smiled wider and turned to walk over to my closet, throwing clothes over my shoulder in a disery to find the perfect outfitt. If I remembered all that had passed then maybe...just maybe...Yami no Bakura has returned. The thought brought a warmness to my heart. To have him again in my arms would be bliss.   
  
If I could bring him fully to my side I would finaly best that white-haired freak of nature. I couldn't kill him as that would kill Yami No Bakura...oh but there were so many other things I could do. Ah, to see crimson blood run over that milk-white skin...to see that silver hair turn the color of brilliant red...for the world to finaly see him for the good-for-nothing he has always been...A beautiful future awaits me it would appear.   
  
~Here I am, rock'd you like a hurricane  
Are you ready baby?  
Here I am, rock'd you like a hurricane  
Here I am, rock'd you like a hurricane  
Come on, come on baby~  
  
~Here I am, rock'd you like a hurrcane  
Rock'd you like a hurrican~  
  
~Its early morning, the sun comes out  
Last night was shakeing, and really loud  
My cat is puring, scratches my skin  
So what is wrong with another sin?~  
  
~The night is calling, I have to go  
The wolf is hungery, he runs the show  
He's licking his lips, he's ready to win  
On the hunt tonight, for love at first sting~  
  
Dropping the clothes from my hands I sighed, a blissful smile still holding my lips. To tear that so-called silver-haired tenchie limb-from-limb is a delightful dream...but how long will it take Yami no Bakura to realize I'm the perfect one for him? Not long I'm sure. With the help of the Dark Arts and my own mystical charms I won't lose this time. Mazaki Anzu never loses...not at a game such as this.   
  
And truely, what is this if not a game? Everything is a game, truely. The prize often isn't worthy of its stakes, but when I put my eyes on something...then its mine. From that very secoud. And no whiney baka is going to get in my way this time. I laughed again, needing to hear myself with my own ears.   
  
It was like music to me. Sweet, beautifuly insane music.   
  
I smiled again, and dipped my head backward and arched my body forward allowing my arms to spread out from my sides like i'm a fallen angel from heaven itself. Maybe I am. I turned and walked back over to the small chest with wiccan belongings. I kneeled next to it, running my fingers gently over the objects inside.   
  
My friend....what was her name? I can't recall. Oh well, not that it matters to me really. She's served her purpose, even in death it appears. There must be some sort of twisted irony to that...I chuckled softly and leaned backward slightly. What was it that she'd said about these though? About Magick?   
  
Something about it being neither black or white but both...and that whatever I do comes back to me times three or something of the sort. I suppose the meaning was: Do onto others as you would have them do to you. Hmp. Like that philosophy would ever get you far in this world. I think I did the world a favor by helping her to her demise. But whatever.  
  
I pulled a small dagger out of the small chest. It was actually kinda pretty, if daggers can be that is. Shimmering silver blade with a golden hilt and jems imbedded into it. Probbaly would fetch a pretty penny too. Funny phrase that. "pretty penny" that is...I didn't think pennys could be pretty...or be worth that much either. But back to the matter at hand. My planning.  
  
I craned my neck to the side, looking out at the riseing sun in the sky. I licked my lips ferely.  
  
"I know your back, Yami no Bakura...even if your not yet you will be...and you *will* me MINE again....I swear it...no matter what."  
  
Come night fall tonight my spell will of been cast.   
  
And Yami no Bakura will be mine.  
  
  
~Here I am, rock'd you like a hurricane  
Are you ready baby?  
Here I am, rock'd you like a hurricane  
Here I am, rock'd you like a hurricane  
Come on, come on, come on~  
  
~Here I am, rock'd you like a hurricane~  
  
~Here I am~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A.n.-^_^I hope ya'all are goin' to enjoy this fic as much as "Don't Think Of Me"^_^. I promise though, this fic won't be centered around Anzu's p.o.v.. The rest of the chappie's most likely will be in Ryou-chan or Bakura-chan's p.o.v. ^_^. Review onegai, so i'll know to add more kay?^_^  
  
Ja ne 


	2. There's The Girl

A.n.-Gomen for the wait and the shortness of this chappie. I didn't mean for it to turn out that way but it did...hope ya like it though n' that it ain't too confusing. Next chappie will be longer, promise!^_~ Oh, and as for my bein' the one o' the people that make them hate Anzu *takes a bow* ty, I'm flattered...I think...^_^hehe.  
  
Dedication-R Amythest, Hiei449, Carrie Starfire, G.O.C, Hana, No Ceres, Ame Tenshi, HikariSpirt, Seashell, Kako, Spark-Gurl-Giggleplex, Cat, Aznsilhouette247, Fate, Moshi, Sincere Angel, Renee The Rabid Squirrel, Karadaki, EvanescenceIX, and Draggy. ^_^ Arigato for your reviews, and for those of you who were disappointed 'bout my writing a chap in Anzu p.o.v as the opening chappie... it's probably will the last one in this sequel in her p.o.v..  
Disclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh nor do I own this song "There's The Girl" by Heart.  
~You're a polished diamond  
Now you?re feelin' kinda rough  
Yes, I know how long you've been searchin'  
For the perfect touch~  
  
~You better hear what I say  
I can tell your eyes are about to give you away~  
Darkness surrounded me, even with my light incarnate laying at my side. The soft rays of moonlight caressed both our frames from the open window. A small breeze rushed through, ruffling through my silver hair. Something out there was calling me, I'd felt it sense I'd first rose the morning before.  
  
Something out there was drawing me from my Aibou...calling me with an irresistible beckon that was nearly addicting.  
  
My body was fighting the urge to tremble, my mouth was dry, and my eyes were burning. A face I wanted to forget but couldn't bring myself to kept flashing in my minds eye. Those deep azure eyes of infinite depth, short black hair with highlights of brown that softened the dark curtain. Why couldn't I forget her!?!  
  
What unholy force was forcing me to remember every curve of her body, every soft touch, every scream of rapture? Why did they have to reincarnate her wicked soul? Her heart surely would have outweighed the feather in the Final Judgement..  
  
My heart was clinching, my soul was screaming out.   
  
I loved Ryou...didn't I?  
  
Or did I love Anzu?  
  
What was this obsession that I felt boiling over in my soul for her? Why couldn't I forget? I stared down at the ivory form in my arms, perfect beauty was he. How pure his light is shines out in his eyes and his face. How he can still care for a bitter ol' coot like me I'll never know...but...  
  
Did I love him still? Or maybe all my torment in the Sennen Ring changed me...But for better or worse?  
~'Cause there?s the girl you were after  
Can feel your heart beating faster  
There?s the girl you were after  
Can you say you don't want her anymore?~  
  
~Just take my word now,   
'Cause you know its true  
She ain't good enough   
For the likes of you~  
  
~You better hear what I say  
I can tell your eyes are about  
To give you away~  
My head was pounding loudly, though I refused to show any of my inner turmoil on my face. I rose slowly out of the bed and began to pace in the small room. It was similar to how it had been way back then when Anzu and I first got together and Ryou, the weakling, sealed himself in the Ring.  
  
I stopped in my tracks, horror spilling through me. Weakling? Did I just...call my Aibou, my Koi, my savior a weakling?! He wasn't...was he? Gods, I'm so confused!   
  
I stood up slowly, running my hands through my silver hair as I began to pace the room. Ryou moaned in his sleep, those chocolate orbs slowly opening and looking at me. His skin was still flushed from our fervent lovemaking. I had taken him several times this night,gentle and slow, then rough and wild, then a mix of the two that had us both screaming in pleasure. His cries and mine of ecstasy still vibrate in the walls of this room.  
  
He looked at me with those big doe brown eyes, blinking slowly as he tilted his head at me.  
  
"What's wrong, Yami-koi?" he questioned, his voice serene in my ears.  
  
My blood was pounding but I didn't know why. My body was tingling with silent siren call from the night. Something out there wanted me... who could give me more then my pure white Hikari could comprehend even if he tried.....  
  
~'Cause there?s the girl that you were after-  
Can you feel your heart beating faster?   
There?s the girl you were after  
All this time you can't get past her~  
  
~There?s the girl you were after  
Broken glass, complete disaster  
There?s the girl you were after  
Can you say you don't want her anymore?~  
  
~I believed you once when you explained  
It wasn't so tough to forget her name~  
  
I could feel my young Aibou probing my thoughts, reading them. His eyes widened and hurt filled them at the emotions I felt...no...were being...fed to me somehow...or had they been there all along? I...I...Can't think...Anzu...she's all I can remember. Who am I? Where am I?   
  
"Forget her, Yami-koi...she...she can't hurt us anymore..."  
  
Ivory face framed with an angel's pure white hair was staring at me, his arms wrapping around me in a weak embrace. His hands traveled across my face, his lips pressed warmly against my own. Something beneath the confusion clicked and I grasped at it like a drowning man. I wrapped my arms hard around him, dominating his sweet mouth with my own.   
  
This felt good...this was real wasn't it? Or was that other feeling real? What about Anzu...?  
  
"It's not so hard to forget her...Aibou," I mumbled against his lips...wanting to believe those words.  
  
I felt relief through our length but the feeling that had drawn a moment of sanity was quickly fading and I was falling, falling down like a stone with these plummeting emotions.   
  
Fading...I was fading...or had I really been here at all?   
  
Pain flashed in my heart as I roughly threw the boy from my arms, striking him as hard as I could across the face. Crimson blood ran through my fingers and I laughed. Laughed so hard at the agony and betrayal that shot across those too innocent features.   
  
Anzu.   
  
Her lilac scent, her warm waiting arms...I craved it suddenly like I'd never craved anything before. I had to have her, here and now. And this *boy*, my weakling Hikari, was in my way.  
  
I walked toward the door only to be restrained once more by arms around my waist. I turned slowly, turning a loathing eye to the scrawny reincarnation. He means nothing to me now.   
  
"W-Wh-why, Yami-koi? What's wrong...?" He pleaded, his pitiful face making a sort of sadistic amusement rise in my very blood.   
  
He looks so beautiful in pain...but I need Anzu right now, not him. Not this pathatic little mortal.   
  
"I'm not your 'Koi'...and your not mine, got it runt? We're over. This was just a game, didn't you know?" I questioned lightly, a smile of cruelty crossing my face at the agony that running like a river across his pale features.  
  
"Na...nani??! No...No I won't believe that!!" He backed away, stumbling and falling on his rump. He stared up at me. Below me. Just like he always was. Beneath me.  
  
I walked forward, kneeling down and grabbing his chin, forcing him to meet my gaze. I sent all the hate, all the disgust I felt for him through our link. I laughed manically at the broken expression on his face, at the silver tears that fell down his cheeks. Little fool thought I loved him...what a joke.   
  
"Believe me now little *Hikari* of mine?" I drawled, "I never loved you. You were just a toy, always a little toy. Admittedly a fun one, but I'm bored of you. Sayonara, weakling," I sneered.  
  
I stood and walked out his door, feeling an unknown guilt rise up in me at the sound of his sobbing.  
  
"But I *love* you!! I *loved* you for Kami's sake, you-you-you cold hearted bastard!!!!!" he screamed.   
  
I laughed long and loud at his pain before walking down the stairs with a bounce in my walk. I better find Anzu, we have time to make up for being apart after all.   
  
So I walked out the door of my ex-lovers home...never to return.  
  
~'Cause there?s the girl you were after  
Can you feel your heart beating faster  
There?s the girl you were after  
All this time you can't get past her~  
  
~There?s the girl you were after  
Broken glass, complete disaster  
There?s the girl you were after  
Can you say you don't want her anymore?~  
  
~There?s the girl, there?s the girl~  
~Can you say that you don't want her?~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A.n.-And that is all, shamefully short I know...horribly short, but honestly...I couldn't think of more to add for this p.o.v. really. This had to happen in order for the fic to work...next chappie will be much longer promise!^_^ Also...my files for this chapter were erased so I had to rewrite it a few times...I hope ya'all liked it at least somewhat...Gomen if the chappie really sucked...next chapter will be way better, promise ^_~I've plans for our lil' Ryou-chan....*evil laugh* 


	3. Going Under

A.n.-And we have another chapter... I'm kinda nervous about this one...so review okay? ^_^ Hope this chappie was long enough...I did my best to make it long since the last chappie was soooooo short^_^. Neways, I'll stop yappin' so ya can read the chapter^_^. Ryou's p.o.v. btw^_^.   
  
Disclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "Going Under" By Evanescence.   
  
Dedication-Moshi, Guess, Carrie Starfire, Aznsilouette247, Thockie, Seashell, and R Amythest^_^. Arigato all of you!^_^   
  
  
  
  
  
  
~Now I will tell you what I've done for you   
Fifty thousand tears I've cried  
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you  
And you still won't hear me  
Going under~   
  
~Don't want your hand  
This time I'll save myself  
Maybe I'll wake up for once  
Not tormented, daily defeated by you   
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom...I'm dying  
again~   
Nine months and seven days.   
  
That's how long its been since that night. Nine long months and seven useless days without the one I loved at my side. My heart ached at the memory of him; I could barely bring myself to rise out of Marik and Malik's bed. A few weeks after the... the...incident... I had moved in with them, finding small comfort at the feel of their warm embraces at night and their arms around me when I cried...which was often then not any more.   
  
But now I just laid still. My tears dry as a desert wind, my eyes feeling swollen and tired as I simply laid there. I hadn't showered in a couple days or so, I couldn't eat...couldn't really sleep much anymore either. My heart was pounding in my chest, constricting with the utter agony I felt tearing through my very soul.   
  
Oh, how I hated him now. Never before had I felt such betrayal, such loathing emotion for anyone in my entire life. Both of them, mind you. The pain I'd felt in my past life with my Yami was cupcakes compared to how I felt now. I clinched my hands into small angry fists, feeling my nails cut into my flesh. Pain...I squeezed tighter, feeling slight comfort in the pinpricks that tingled through me. It was the only thing that proved I was still alive.   
  
The thought of death hung over me like an ever-swinging pendulum. The thought of slicing my veins open and watching that crimson light run down over my flesh in a blissful peace. I closed my eyes, rolling over on my side, curling up in a fetal position on the large bed. I couldn't do that.   
  
Not for the same reason as last time though. Not the fact that if I die so does he...being sealed in the Ring is death for him. And while the spiraling madness he'd be pushed farther into without me  
has a sort of perverse pleasureful ring to it...I just can't do it. Death...a cowards way out. Why taint my name further with the brand of cowardice?   
  
Why not try to prove him wrong and be strong. Be the strong Hikari he never dreamed I could be. I squeezed my eyes tighter. But to be strong in the way he demanded...it?s not my nature. Not the nature of a Hikari to face that sort of harshness. That job is that of the Yami. But I don't have a Yami anymore. He's not mine. Never was, never will be.   
  
I pursed my lips together tightly, sitting up suddenly on my bed. My muscles screeched their protests at my quick movement. I hadn't moved from the bed much since this...betrayal. School? I was already kicked out for missing so many days so that didn't matter much to me. Nothing seemed to matter any more.   
  
Malik had left for school hours before, leaving me in Marik's care until his return. The platinum blonde Egyptian Yami been here a while ago, cradling me against his strong chest...saying sweet words in a language I knew but didn't understand. He'd only left me after I'd softly asked him of it...the need for complete solitude nipping at my very soul. Marik...I remembered him clearly from back...back when all this began.   
  
100 years ago when I'd first received the ring, when I had first slipped it over my neck and released the darkened spirit that would forever dominate my very existence. Slowly I slid off the silken sheets and stood on the white-carpeted floor. Flexing my cramped muscles slowly I made my way through the lavish apartment to the bathroom.   
  
I shed my clothing in a slightly sloppy manner and turned on the water for the showerhead. It felt like years since I'd last showered. I desperately needed the cleansing liquid that poured down...even if it couldn't wash me completely, I needed it. Mechanically, I washed my hair with shampoo and conditioner, and my body. Finished with the ritual I stood there beneath the slightly too hot water with no expression.   
  
Two warm arms reached around me suddenly, but I didn't bother to look up. Damp clothing pressed against my bare back as I slowly turned to lock gazes with Marik tiredly. He stared intently at me, insanity lined exotic face unreadable as he ran a finger down my cheek. I was too tired to bother to shy away and try to cover myself...show some form of modesty.   
  
I felt like I was drowning in all my emotions. Everything was so out of control. Everything I'd come to believe since my...since Yami came back into my life causing me to remember everything was a lie...he never loved me...never cared for me beyond a toy, and Kami knows I felt more for him then that...   
  
My other half, the other part of me I was dieing without was torn from me of his own violation. All for the same dark haired blue-eyed whore that would always be better then me. I realized vaguely that the water had been turned off and a fuzzy towel was wrapped around my lithe frame. He lifted me effortlessly into his arms, holding me close.   
  
We were back in the bedroom, and I noted inanely that the sheets had been changed and the room had been tidied a little bit more. He laid me on the bed, hesitating only a split second before he laid next to me, his arms wrapping around me like a lover's would. I was used to it really.   
  
Since I'd come to live with the two Egyptians, Marik had taken to looking after to me to the strongest extreme. Holding me, feeding me, (most of the time forcefully since I had no true appetite) and taking complete care of me. It was...nice really. I liked knowing that there was someone who cared about me. I loved him, in a way. Though whether as a lover or brother I didn't know. Too soon to sort out such muddled feelings...my mind was too much of wreck to even attempt it.   
  
~I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through   
I'm going under~   
  
~Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies  
So I don't know what's real and what's not  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore  
I'm dying again~   
  
I swallowed hard rolling over suddenly to bury my face in the collarbone of the Yami before me. He smelled of incense and jasmine mixed with metal. I breathed deeply, fighting away my tears. I was tired of this. Tired of always bowing down to fate, taking what life handed me with complete submission.   
  
Some part of me broke when Yami walked out my door with his cruel words echoing around me. Some part of what made me was gone...and I didn't know how to get it back. Wasn't sure I could if I tried...and in truth wasn't sure if I even wanted to try. I was tired of always being the weak one, the one everyone always threw a hand out to help.   
  
It was time for me to fight back, to stop cowering in a corner and just...take the role I'd never dared to touch.   
  
Anger and betrayal, hate and love...they were all I could feel. The latter, a traitor?s emotion that was tearing at me. I looked up at Marik, a resolve tightening in my eyes as I locked gazes with those hardened insane lavender eyes. Marik understood, in some way I knew he did. He and Malik were the only ones who could...   
  
Yuugi and Yugioh...they were here too, the reigning champions of the "resurrected" game of Duel Monsters...which was even hotter then it had been back then, believe it or not. They could sympathize with me...but never did fully understand. Yuugi and Malik had intact memories, same as me, when their Items touched their fingers.   
  
I licked my lips slowly, a small crazy smile tickling at my lips. Marik had defended me, hunted down my Yami and Anzu not long after I showed up on their front door in an old grungy T-shirt, redden eyes and disheveled appearance. He'd gone and tried to figure out what the hell was going on...only to find out what I already knew. That he loved Anzu... not me. Never me.   
  
"I...I want to get dressed...Marik...maybe...go some where...." I said softly, "It... It's time for me to move on." My voice was surprisingly firm, though slightly hoarse from crying all the time.   
  
He looked at me with surprise, but conceded and rose from the bed.   
  
"None of your clothes are here...but Malik won't mind if you were his..." he smirked comically at me and tossed a pair leather pants and a deep green silk shirt before walking out of the room.   
  
I held the clothes with the tips of my fingers, a grimace crossing my face. Leather...wasn't me. I'd never been able to wear it...and Malik's clothes were skin tight...not that he looked bad in them but...   
  
I narrowed my eyes suddenly and tossed the towel off me, most of the water had dried anyway. Hikari Ryou that had always whimpered under fate was dead now, drowned beneath the heartbreak his own other half had inflicted...it was time for a change. Time for me to take a stand and toss away my old identity to make way for the new.   
  
And what better cover was there then darkness to hide the pain? What covered suffering best but shoveling it beneath the cape of swirling shadows? Yamis' used smoke and mirrors of the night to cover the insanity-rung pain they'd endured. Who ever said a Hikari can't do the same?   
  
I took a death breath and pulled Malik's pants on. They were low hanging on the hips and flared slightly at the ankles, skintight. They left little to the imagination as well. I pulled the dark green shirt over to find it was the low hanging color kind with most of the buttons missing. I licked my lips nervously before walking out the room to see Marik lounging against the couch, his eyes staring vacantly out.   
  
As I entered his eyes snapped to me, widening only slightly before his mouth curved up into an appreciative smile.   
  
"Always knew you'd look good in Malik's clothes," he said, "you can borrow his spare boots by the door too, he won't care. But first... let?s fix you up a little bit...." He smirked evilly at that in a way that made me raise an eyebrow in amusement. "Sit on the stool, close your eyes and let me work my magic. Don't open them 'till I say, got it?"   
  
I nodded and did as he asked. Moments later I felt him return, and heard a telltale snap that made me nearly groan. He was going to put make-up on me. Not that he was bad at it, Malik and he always looked sexy in it. But they looked good without it any way so that didn't matter. I felt him apply some eyeliner then shadow, lip gloss fell across my lips, and moments seemed to slow to a crawl as Marik worked his..."magic," as he would refer to it. I felt him playing with my hair as well and had to fight the urge to open my eyes. I hate not knowing what?s going on around me... not being in control... I needed control...of myself most of all right now...Kami knows I can't control much else...   
  
"Open," he ordered.   
  
My eyes snapped open to see my face reflected in the mirror...I certainly looked...different. My eyes had dark colors of blues mixed with other shades, outlined in black that gave them a sort of larger more innocent and slightly jaded appearance. My lips were midnight blue and glistening, my hair gelled and teased slightly to perfection. The doppelganger in the mirror was a surprising change from my earlier washed-out appearance...   
  
I blinked slowly, "How..."   
  
He shook his head at me before grabbing my arm, "Let's go show you off to the town, Hikari no Ryou!" he chirped, not seeming to notice me stiffen at beingreferred to as "hikari"...only Yami called me that...   
  
Though insane and dark as any Yami born of pure shadows could dream of being, Marik did have a compelling nature that drew any like a moth to a flame. A natural charisma meant to lead...and to destroy.   
  
I slipped on Malik's boots, to find them a half size too big, but still comfortable. Marik took my arm in a gentle clasp and lead me outside to get his "baby." His motorcycle that both he and Malik loved more then anything in the world. And a single scratch or bump from a careless mortal meant an instant bloody death at their hands.   
  
My pain seemed distant now, buried beneath the waves of confidence that Marik emitted. He could deface any in but an instant, kill any man or woman that stood in his way without fear. He wore his power like a second skin and as we were riding down the streets of Domino on his motorcycle with the wind flying through my face. There was no fear, no pain. I was falling still in that blank pit of despair but I had found my escape with him. Found a way to forget.   
  
Just by being at his side so much could be changed.   
  
That didn't mean I was using him as help, though. I would be strong on my own, be the individual rock that would keep me from drowning any farther in a love that would never requited. The old Ryou Bakura would never have gotten kicked out school, be in skin-tight leather and revealing clothes, riding down the streets with the craziest of the Yamis: Marik.   
  
But that boy was dead now. I refuse to keep hiding under that shell, to be the soft-spoken weakling boy that always cried...was always beaten and abused because he didn't want to fight back. Screw it. I'm not going through all of that again. Yami broke me that night...I can still taste the blood and tears from them. Remember the feel of him slapping me to the ground, taking my heart and shredding it in those powerful slender hands of his.   
  
I tightened my grip around Marik, my face hardening. He thought he had beaten me that night. Thought I would wither and die. I did. And now I'm back...and its time everyone learns one simple fact. You don't piss on a Hikari's hopes and love without repercussions. We're the brightest of the light because our darkness is just as pure...but that doesn't mean we're all sweetness and kindness. Just as a Yami can be kind, we can be cruel.   
  
And if cruel was the only way to survive now...then Kami be damned, I'd do it.   
  
~I'm going under   
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever   
I've got to break through~   
  
~So go on and scream  
Scream at, I'm so far away  
I won't be broken again  
I've got to breath  
I can't keep going under~   
  
Marik and I stopped at a local club that was open day through night, always had a party of some sort going on. Lust, sex, drugs, and power were all that mattered here. At one time I'd have been afraid to come within a foot of this place without Yami at my side. But the wind of change has blown, and any poor fool who messes with me tonight is going to face the consequences...   
  
I blinked, nearly stopping in my tracks at that particular thought. Face what consequences? Was I this far gone? How far would I go to protect myself...? Marik pulled me insistently and we stepped into the darkened club. Heavy rock music blared in the room. The smell of liquor, laughter, cigarettes, and danger permeated the very air I breathed. It was intoxicating.   
  
We walked over to a table, Marik ordering us some drinks. Our pale faced, slightly trembling waiter brought Marik's order faster then one would think possible. Looks like the Egyptian Yami has a...reputation here. I tossed my head slightly, downing the burning liquid in a single gulp. Tears pricked at my eyes at the firey sensation but I smiled over at Marik, licking my lips.   
  
I was dying on the inside, but I'd never felt this alive before. The waiter set a bottle down in front of us before scurrying off. Marik opened his mouth to say something but I took several long swings of the fiery liquid before he could. My blood was burning, my heart was pounding. I grabbed Marik's hand, smiling through my muddled thoughts.   
  
"Dance with me." I whispered huskily.   
  
I pulled Marik onto the dance floor, dancing again the platinum blonde with a few dirty moves I'd seen everyone else use before. I'd always been to shy to dare do this...but I wasn't anymore. I wanted to live, live hard and fast. Stuff a lifetime of all the wrongs I'd always refrained from in but an instant.   
  
I slipped a leg between Marik's, moving down and up his body, my hands wandering over his body while his did the same on mine. There was something between us in that instant. A spark, something that half jerked me from the drug-fogged vision my mind had fallen into. As quickly as it appeared, it disappeared though... leaving me confused.   
  
"What do you want, Ryou?" he whispered as I came up to meet his face, my body molded against his.   
  
"I think you know," I said softly.   
  
I pressed my lips hard against his; he kissed me back savagely before pulling away suddenly.   
  
"Just dance, Ryou..." he said. Not exactly a no...but not a yes either...Or did I want a yes?   
  
What about Yami? *My* Yami?   
  
I viciously shoved the memory away, feeling my mind fall down into that drowning abyss once... no. No. I had control right now...and I wouldn't give it up without a fight. Then I felt it. A prickling in the back of my mind, my blood rising in my very veins, my heart contracting painfully in my chest. And I knew. I knew that when I turned he would be there, staring at me.   
  
I narrowed my eyes and turned, summoning all the dark loathing emotion I could into my gaze. M *Yami* dancing with that *slut,* Anzu.  
What about Yami? *My* Yami? Hmp...mine no longer it would appear... A sneer lifted my lips as I tauntingly pressed myself against Marik. He growled and pulled me possessively close, his arms wrapping around me from behind. I smirked over at my former koi. Tossing my head slightly, feeling a firm satisfaction and the way he clinched his jaw.   
  
His eyes were burning like a demon's would, anger and jealously coating his face momentarily before I saw a slender arm wrap its way around him. Dark hair, big blue eyes, and full lips to match a body blessed by Kami all for straight men. I scoffed at my long time adversary. If she wanted my EX Yami...fine. I don't care any more.   
  
I was going under and I had abandoned the innocence I'd once held. It'd been shattered.   
  
"If it isn't the two timing bastard!!" I yelled over the music, taking Marik's hand in mine as I walked toward him.   
  
"Are you sure about this?" he whispered, I could practically taste his desire for me to say yes. He'd been longing for another confrontation.   
  
"Hell yes," I snapped.   
  
Anzu pressed her body tauntingly against Yami, batting her eyes at him...making him turn practically into pudding. It made me sick to my stomach. I knew the scene was being played out to hurt me, no other reason. But if they wanted a fight I'd give them one.   
  
"If it isn't the white rat," she sneered, pointing her nose up and looking down at me, "I thought I smelled something..."   
  
"Sure it ain't yourself, hoe?" I said, feeling amusement prickle its way through me at the shock that fell across her face along with the indignation. Dumb bitch.   
  
"Bakura!! You?re not going to let him talk to me like that are you?"   
  
His eyes were narrowed in fiery anger as he looked at me, "Fuck no. Take it back, weakling. What the hell are you wearing anyway? Finally trying to look like the street whore you are or just taking lessons from your crazy lover behind you?" His voice seemed to falter at the "lover" part but I didn't care.   
  
I saw red. How dare he insult me...and Marik for that matter. I barely heard Marik snarling at him, yelling colorful words that would have made a sailor blush in embarrassment.   
  
I couldn't take it any more. I flew at him. Tackled him straight to the ground. Pain...my cheek...the bastard!! I pounded at him, sitting on his chest before I suddenly found myself pinning him to the ground, blows raining down. I nailed him square in the nose, blood splattered across my hands. The taste of copper was in my mouth. Rage was all I could feel, all I could dare understand.   
  
I wanted to kill him. Wanted to beat him to death with my hands. A shrill voice was screaming.   
  
/...Ryou.../   
  
His voice trickled through me, dimming my rage. Moonlight nights, making love slowly and leisurely. Love beyond limits, a smile meant for me and only me. Tears were streaming down as I felt my strength seeping out of me.   
  
//Stop it you jackass!! I know...I know...don't you dare...say my name like that...never again...BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!//   
  
I fought with a newly renewed liquid inferno. How dare he...how DARE he! Suddenly I was pulled off him, Yami jumped to his feet but the Bouncer held him back. I was suddenly back in Marik's arms.   
  
"I'll kill you!!!!!" Yami was screaming, "RA DAMN YOU! I KILL YOU!!!!!!!" They pulled him away but Anzu stood there, her eyes burning with hatred.   
  
"You'll pay for this, Rat," she said before following the man carrying her lover. I could feel Shadow Magic in the air and felt my Yami summon a monster but I didn't care about that...no need to.   
  
I was sobbing, I realized suddenly. Tears were soaking my face and I found myself cradled against a warm familiar chest. He carried me with strong, firm footsteps outside and set me in front of him on the motorcycle.   
  
My throat was burning, my mouth was dry, my face and body was pounding, my eyes felt like they were on fire...everything was blurry....   
  
"Marik... Marik..." I murmured against his chest, holding onto him as my only line to sanity.   
  
I'd finally reached the bottom...but where would it lead me?   
  
~I'm dying again   
I'm going under~   
  
~Drowning in you   
I'm falling forever   
I've got to break through~   
  
~I'm going under~   
  
~Going under~   
  
~I'm going under.....~   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A.n.-And we stop there...I hope ya'all liked this chappie... kinda how I thought anyone would respond if faced with this...they lose themselves...Neways...review onegai ^_^I'll only add more if ya review!^_^ 


	4. Faithless

A.n.-Gomen for the wait on this. I had trouble picking a song for this chapter. I'm still not completely satisfied with this song for it...but I felt it fit pretty well. I hope you all like this chapter:)Don't forget to review 'kay?   
  
And to Draggy, I'll have the next chappie to "Without You" soon^_~, I promise:)  
  
And yes...I decided to change the title. It had been buggin' me for a while...^_^  
  
Dedication-R Amythest, Firedraygon97, Cat, Kely, Sunset-Wolf, Draggy, YaoiFan, Guess, Thocki, Mira-chan, Hikari no Yami, Aznsilhouette247, Moshi, Spark-gurl, and Hana no Ceres. Thank you all of you!!^_^  
  
Disclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "Faithless" by Injected. Songs sung by Ryou are "Cry" by Faith Hill and "Don't Speak" by No Doubt.  
  
  
~Could you be so lost? Are you so free?  
Do you long to be when the sun goes down?  
Do you feel the feeling there's no one near?  
You know it's such a mystery how you washed up over me  
And I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak, 'lest I drown~  
  
It was dark in Anzu's apartment. My lover laid at my side, her eyes closed in slumber...a satisfied smile taking her full red lips. I looked away. It almost felt wrong, this obsessive need to always be with her. To love her...why did that emotion feel so empty? Why was every thing I saw and heard in gray unless she was in my presence? Why was everything so phony without her? Was this what it meant to love? To not be able to survive without the other with you?   
  
I can barely remember a time when I had laughed at others for this obscene weakness called "love". I used to love seeing the terrified love induced fear when I made their love bleed and scream. Seeing that helpless rage and desperate calls for me to leave them alone and take them...not the other. How I had laughed, how I had enjoyed their screams and tears...  
  
And now here I am, with someone that means more to me then anyone could possibly imagine. I've never felt this much before...and yet at the same time felt nothing at all. A boy with white hair and brilliant brown eyes appeared suddenly and my heart clenched. I hate him so much. Bloody fool, how dare he do this to me...he's just trying to distract me from my beloved Anzu...that's all.  
  
Why then, did I feel so...angry when I saw him and that psycho Marik together? Why did I get so possessive and jealous when I saw them kiss? Why? Stupid questions. I was just embarrassed that he actually did that in public. After all, he looks similar to me...anything he does like that can reflect badly on me...Right?  
  
I growled lowly and slowly slipped off the bed, covering Anzu up gently with the covers. I hate to part from her...but...I don't know why but I can't stay here right now. I need some time to myself, some time to think and sort out these...stupid emotions. It would worry her to see me upset, anyway, and Anzu's feels are my prime priority...  
  
I licked my lips and pulled on my discarded leather pants and a silky black shirt to match it. Dressed, I quickly slid out the open window and landed deftly on my feet. Some rain and sprinkled down earlier making the musky scent of nature and life rise through the cool air. I wandered aimlessly through the moonlit sidewalks. Searching for something I didn't understand. All I wanted to do was get away. Run, run, run, and run until my lungs wanted to burst.   
  
To love was to be in pain, to hate was to live. I didn't know where the thought came from. It just simply rose in my mind...drink. Yes. I need a drink...preferably something hard. Licking my lips nervously I made my way quickly past the houses and toward a local tavern. I was drawn here by an invisible force. It wasn't the alcoholic beverages I was going for...but something else I didn't understand.  
  
I reached up and touched my busted lip slowly, not even wincing at the fiery pain that erupted from the fresh wound. Who'd of thought that my weakling Hikari actually had a mean right-hook? Hmp. Fool. How dare he insult my Anzu. He will pay for that. He will...no one insults what I care about and gets away with it!  
  
I walked into the tavern and dropped gracelessly into an empty booth, scowling at anyone who dared look my way. I grabbed a waiter by the arm and ordered him to bring me a drink. I could see the fear building in his eyes, thin lips paling to white as they pressed hard enough together that they looked like rubber-bands. He nodded his head and walked quickly away to fulfill my demand. Anzu...Anzu...Anzu...  
  
I bet you're lying on your side right now. Soft, supple lips parted ever so slightly, brilliant blue eyes closed in slumber, luscious curves pressed against the covers, that little blue crystal charm you wear around your neck glinting ever so teasingly as it fell in the crevice between your breasts...  
  
I shook my head slightly, disturbed a little by my attraction to her. By the fact that she consumed me so completely. I felt so empty without her bright presence at my side. I was stumbling through a darkened world without her beautiful light to guide me. I felt so torn, ripped and mangled without her. An ugly demon cast into heaven where none could or ever would accept me.   
  
I whimpered slightly under my breath. I loathe this weakness, but she is a desire that I cannot deny even if I tried. It was strange, I woke up after a moment of so-called loving bliss with my ignorant Hikari and all I could think of was her. Every graceful gesture, every smile, every bedazzling look...  
  
I shook my head slightly and let out some of my pent up frustration by giving my waiter a look of pure murder. His hands shook, nearly dropping his tray that held my shot glass and a bottle of vodka. He trembled as he laid them on the table before me.  
  
"W-will tha-there be-be-be anything mah-more, s-s-sir?" he stuttered, high-pitched childish voice grating on my nerves more then anything else.   
  
I just stared at him, narrowing my eyes. He nodded and walked away quickly, giving me a wide berth when he passed my table with drinks for others... I sighed. Tormenting mortals was fun but I couldn't help but feel on edge. Like something...or someone...was watching me. I rolled my shoulders back and downed a shot of vodka. Then another...and another...and another...and another...Until the mild buzz of drunkenness was raging through my mind.  
  
The band on the stage, which hadn't been very good by the way, came to a stop. An old man with wiry gray hair, narrow brown eyes and a pinched face walked over to the microphone and began to speak. I tuned him out, absently imagining gutting him with a knife and watching him scream in agony...that would be fun...  
  
That's when HE stepped on stage, his mere presence knocking me out of my train of thought. Smooth, long white hair with wide innocent brown eyes that seemed harder then they should be. A snarl of rage was fighting its way up, and also a feeling I didn't understand was rising in my mind. I felt almost...happy to see him again. I snorted and downed another shot of vodka.   
  
Images flew through my mind. Moonlit evenings of pure rapture, striving to reach the peeks of ecstasy with a being that had completed me in every sense. The world was colorful then, my mind as open as my heart. I shook my head roughly. I was being stupid. I had Anzu now, my true love and desire. Not that pathetic weakling that didn't even deserve my time...right? Yes. It was a misfortune that he had ended up being my Hikari anyway. Probably Ra's way of torturing me for robbing so many tombs...now those were the days...  
  
~But it's my kind, I'll never be cruel and I'll always play the fool  
To be as loveless, as shameless as you...I'm so blind  
I'll do it again, I feel your eyes sink in...so  
faithless you've been~  
  
~Yes I'm so lost, I am not free but I long to be  
When your life goes down, do you feel as though your gonna drown?  
You're going down, you're going down, you're going  
down, you're going down~  
  
The lights dimmed a little more and smooth beat of music that was nearly pleasant filtered through the air and against my will my eyes rose to my Hikari. He was dressed in a pair of low hanging form fitting leather pants that left little to the imagination. A low hanging red shirt hung over his chest, the buttons all the way done. An interesting mix of innocence and sin...it would have been tempting if Anzu weren't all I could think of. I downed another few shots and looked up in shock as a smooth sweet voice entered the air...Ryou's voice...  
  
"If I had just one tear runnin' down your cheek   
Maybe I could, cope maybe I'd get some sleep  
If I had just one moment at your expense  
Baby all my misery would be well spent  
  
Could you cry just a little? Lie just a little?   
Pretend that you're feelin' a little more pain  
I gave and now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me  
  
If your love could be caged, Honey I would hold the key  
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me  
And you'd hunt those lies...they'd be all you'd ever find  
  
That'd be all you'd have to know...for me to fine  
Can you cry just a little? Die just a little?  
And baby I would feel a little less pain  
I gave and now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me  
  
Give it up, baby, I hear your doin' fine  
Nothings gonna save me...I can see it in your eyes  
Some kind of heart your callin'...give it a try  
  
I don't want pity, I just want what is mine...yeah  
Could you cry just a little? Lie just a little?   
Pretend that you're feelin' a little more pain  
I gave and now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me  
Could you cry a little...for me?"  
  
I was almost sad when the song ended. Time remained suspended as his voice faded away with the last line. The song was for me, I knew that. But how did he know I was here? Or maybe...he hadn't known at all and this was just his way of venting emotions. I didn't dare reach out to feel my Hikari's emotions. Then, if he didn't know I was here, he would know then. I'd thrown a wall between us, to tear it down would be cause.   
  
A loud applause ripped through the room, startling me out of my trance. I downed another shot, my hands were beginning to tremble despite the fiery liquid I'd downed. Run...I wanted to run more then anything now. Curl back up with my beloved Anzu and forget the world in her arms. Get away from my weakling Hikari and banish him from my mind...I downed three more shots. I was feeling a little more then mildly drunk now. Even the sparkling lights above me were suddenly becoming funny...  
  
A hard somewhat...different beat of music rippled through the air. Filled with life and once more I looked up to see my Hikari on the stage. His hair was wild around his face, sweat dripping tantalizingly across his smooth face. I licked my lips suddenly finding it hard to breathe. I blamed it on the alcohol for the sudden emotions...even still I couldn't help but down another shot of it. It rippled down through my body like a sultry fury, dragging me along for the ride of forgetfulness...  
  
"You and me...we used to be together, everyday together...always  
I really feel that I'm losin' my best friend...I can't believe this could be the end  
It looks as though your letting go...and if it's real I don't want to know  
  
Don't speak, I know just what you're saying...so please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts...  
Don't speak, I know what your thinkin'...I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
  
Our memories...they can be inviting...  
But some are all together mighty frightening  
As we die, both you and I...with my head in my hands I sit and cry  
  
Don't speak, I know just what you're saying...so please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts...  
Don't speak, I know what your thinkin'...and I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts...  
  
It's all ending, we got to stop pretending who we are...  
  
You and me...I can see us dying...are we?  
Don't speak, I know just what you're sayin'...so please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
No, no don't speak, I know just what your thinkin'...I don't need your reasons  
  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts, don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
Don't speak, don't speak, don't speak  
I know what your thinkin'...and I don't need your reasons....  
Don't shh, hush...darling."  
  
The song drifted away, leaving me even as the applause erupted into the air. As much as it killed me to dare admit it...something in his voice tonight had touched me. Something in it had awakened a longing to deep to be described. I wanted to hold him, just as I had held Anzu only hours before. I wanted to caress that creamy white skin, hear the shouts of pleasure from his lips, I wanted to see his blood rain down over my hands. I wanted to feel myself inside of him again.  
  
Lust was the only way to explain such a thing. And why I wanted the pathetic soggy rat I didn't know, nor care. Something had awoken when I'd seen him again. Some pain deep inside. I wanted the answers that continued to elude me. I wanted all the lies that I was telling myself and were fed to me gone...I was tired of wondering why this, why that...why can't things be more simple?  
  
Everyone has always blamed me for everything. Well, except Anzu that is. She never raised her voice to me, always held me and kissed my worries away. An image flashed through my mind. Ryou laughing in my arms, reaching up to steal a lingering kiss before running off. No...he never really blamed me either. Why did I hate him so much? Why did I despise him so, yet long for him beyond anything else in the world? What was wrong with me? What spell had been cast that tossed all my barriers away?   
  
I growled and buried my face in my hands, my slender fingers clinched around my silver hair and tugged hard. I barely felt the pain that surged through my scalp. Against my will I raised my eyes again to the stage to see Ryou stepping off. He smiled and nodded to a few people before walking toward two platinum blondes.  
  
Fury blazed through me as they embraced him and kissed him lightly as he responded to both with a fiery passion. Rage was fueling me at the sight. Possessiveness I didn't understand. It was almost as bad as if they were holding Anzu in such a manner. And the gods know that I do not share.   
  
Marik stiffened suddenly, as though feeling my presence. I leaned back in my booth, thankful for the shadows that engulfed me. He couldn't see me, even if he could for that matter feel me...  
  
~But it's my kind, I'll never be cruel and I'll always play the fool   
To be as loveless, as shameless as you...but I'm so blind  
I'll do it again, I feel your eyes sink in...so  
faithless you've been~  
  
~Yes I'm so lost, but I'm not free...yes I'm so lost...but I long to be~  
  
Marik's eyes passed over me twice before returning to my Hikari. I rose up and walked out of the bar quickly, stumbling a little over invisible bumps in the floor. I cursed in two languages as I made my way to the door. No one dared stop me, of course. I had to get out of there. Back to Anzu. Yes. She was calling me. She needed me, and I needed her. We are one, and can never be otherwise. I walked out into the night and hurried down the path I'd taken back to Anzu's place.   
  
Only to collide with an unmovable, very solid *alive* wall...  
  
Stumbling back I raised my gaze to meet ruby red orbs. Wild tri-colored hair that went in every direction, a face of noble beauty carved with the seduction of darkness lilting toward me. Power of the Ancient World rolled in waves off the ageless once Pharaoh. I snarled in rage.  
  
"Outs of Ma' ways Pharaoh..." My tongue was sluggish and loose, my mouth struggling to form simple vowels.  
  
He didn't move, his arms crossing as his stance shifted cockily. He titled his head at me.  
  
"You're drunk." It was a statement, not a question.  
  
It seemed remarkably funny the way he said it, a single elegant eyebrow raised. I laughed, feeling a fire rush through my veins. Freedom was mine, but I still wanted Anzu. Wanted to feel her in my arms, I wanted the world to be real again. And that would only come when she was with me...  
  
"Give da man an' award...*hic*" I went off on a hic-upping tirade for a minute or so, smiling foolishly at my eternal foe.  
  
He grabbed me by my shirt suddenly, dragging me off into one of the allies and slamming me hard against one of the walls. I grimaced in agony. That *hurt* damn it! Ugh...and did he have to yell like that? It was giving me a headache and tossing off my high I'd gotten. Baka Pharaoh...  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you Yami no Bakura?! You love Ryou! Not that stupid, no good greasy whore!! You don't even know where she's BEEN! And you give up RYOU for ANZU?! Have you lost your friggin' MIND?!" He was passing in front of me, screaming out the words with more anger then I'd ever seen him express.   
  
I'd always thought of Yugioh as King of Ice more then the King of Games. The man never really lost his cool, his fury always dripping clear from the tones he used rather then raising his voice high enough for Ra to hear...hahahaha...Yugioh...King of Ice Men...hehehehe...that thought seemed hilarious right about now...  
  
I pointed a finger at him, blinking hard to keep him in focus, "Now yous lisss..listen ta me...King of Ice...Anzu...is...is...wha was I talking about? Ah, yeah...Anzu...Anzu is...the sun, da moon, n' the stars in one...hehehehe....ya get it? The sun? Ra? Hahaha."  
  
He was looking at me with pure distaste, hatred dripped from his voice, "You are a fool, Yami no Bakura. At least I had *some* respect for you when you were trying to steal my puzzle, not much, mind you, but some...but now...ugh...you're lower then dirt now. To abandon your Hikari like that...have you now friggin' SHAME?!"  
  
I winced and pressed my fingers to my temples, "Stop yelling...it hurts mah ears...I love Anzu...you don't understan...yous canna understand it..." I licked my lips, "I hafta go...she needs me..."  
  
Yugioh backed away, disgust across his face, "You do that. May your heart way heavier then the feather in the After Life, Yami no Bakura, and may the crocodile feast hungrily on that black heart of yours."  
  
He walked away from me then, leaving me staring after where he stood. Stupid Ice King doesn't know what he's talking about. Weigh heavier then the feather...Like his heart will weigh any less...hahaha...  
  
I pushed myself off the wall and began to make my way back to Anzu's apartment. I stopped suddenly and leaned against one of the buildings. Ryou suddenly came to mind as I felt Anzu's call on me waver. I wonder what he's doing right now...?   
  
I turned off from the way to Anzu's and instead made my way to where Ryou's house was...might as well check in on the weakling...For a smile he'll let me have whatever I want anyway. And besides...I wonder what he looks like when his belief in me is shattered twice? I laughed madly and began to run to Ryou's house....  
  
~But it's my kind, I'll never be cruel and I'll always play the fool  
To be as loveless, as shameless as you...but I'm so blind  
I'll do it again I feel your eyes sink in  
So faithless you've been...so faithless as you've been~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A.n.-I know...Incredibly SHORT...I didn't mean for it to be, but it's just the way it turned out. Don't worry, Baku-chan won't be drunk long, I didn't like his vocab that way either^_~. Hehe, review onegai so I'll know to add more^_^_^_^ 


	5. I Will Survive

A.n.-Sorry for the wait...I've been busy. However, I'm on summer vacation now! Meaning, I have lots more time to write meaning more chappies waaaaaaay quicker!!^_^_^_^_^  
  
And Gomen Draggy, I know the next chappie to "Without You" is taking FOREVER but I'm working on it, promise:)won't be much longer;)  
  
Dedication-Draggy, Guess, Spark-Gurl, Seashell, Moshi, and Thockie!^_^Arigatou all of you!!^_^_^_^_^  
  
  
  
Disclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "I Will Surivive" by Gloria Gaynor.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~At first I was afraid, I was petrifed  
  
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side  
  
But then I spent so many nights thinkin' how you did me wrong  
  
And I grew strong...and I learned how to get along~   
  
  
  
~And so you're back from outer space  
  
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face  
  
I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key  
  
If I'd of known for just one second you'd be back to  
  
bother me...~  
  
  
  
~Go on now, go walk out the door  
  
Just turn around now, 'cause your not welcome anymore  
  
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye  
  
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?~  
  
  
  
I entered my old home slowly. I could feel him here, though I could tell he was trying to keep his presence a secret. But I wasn't stupid. I had felt him at the club from the instant he had walked in. Did he expect me to fall to my knees and beg for him to come back? To cry and scream? Never again. I'm not that little boy that was so enraptured with him, not in this life and not in the last.   
  
  
  
Oh, it's true. Those songs I sung, they were not just a way of venting my emotions but they were aimed at him. If he had showed remorse, even the tiniest bit, perhaps I could forgive him. All of this. In time even gain closure and acceptance of his choice. But he had broke me without a second thought.   
  
  
  
What did he think? That he could come here, to MY home, and pretend nothing had changed? I'm not that naive. I lost what naiveté I had when he threw me away like garbage. So here he was again, what did he want? A quickie? A chance to amend things? Fat chance. He had his chance to show me remorse, he didn't.   
  
  
  
And gods beating the crap out of him in the club, I enjoyed it. And I won't pretend I didn't, because I did. Every strike was a wound to show how he had torn me apart. Revenge can be sweet, and I feel no regret for what I've done. Marik told me I'm starting to act a little more like his Hikari had in battle city.   
  
  
  
That I'm losing the sweetness of the boy he once knew.  
  
  
  
He still cares for me regardless, he told me so, but he was saddened to see me lose that innocence that I'd had. Things change, I had replied. And that had been the end of the subject. If this is the blissful insanity, then I'm loving it. Because, if you're hard at times, then you don't have to feel. And nothing having to feel, means you can't feel the pain any more. Can't feel that empty aching pain that arches through your heart like fire.   
  
  
  
Oh, I'd known that my dear Yami would return to my old home in search of me afterward. It hadn't taken much convincing to get Marik to let me return home of the night. A security thing to let me conquest my own demons on my own. I had to show myself that Yami no Bakura did not rule me anymore. That the pain he had inflicted didn't run so deep as I would run anymore for him.  
  
Well, Yami, you tried so hard back then to toughen me up for the world. To change me from the weakling Hikari. Congratulations, you got your wish. Though now, your Hikari isn't your alley, as you'd probably wanted.   
  
  
  
No, I'm your worst friggin' enemy.   
  
  
  
Just as you are mine.  
  
  
  
I flicked on the lights to the living room, long since prepared for the figure I saw standing there.  
  
  
  
"Hikari," he purred, "I've missed ya."  
  
  
  
I could smell the alcohol on him from ten feet away, and though his onyx eyes were darkened with a slight buzz I could tell he was mostly in control of himself. Though the way I'd seen him downing all that vodka I'm surprised he's not collapsed. I suppose his tolerance for alcohol has increased more then I thought. Guess you'd have to be somewhat drunk to sleep with Anzu though...hahaha.  
  
  
  
"Did you now? I haven't missed you."  
  
  
  
Oh what a lie that was! I had cried for days missing him, screaming and dying with utter agony that was greater then even a Kami could bestow. I loved him back then, and I still do a little. But I've buried those days under the betrayal that he caused between us. I'm not that silly little boy that he remembers. Never again. I left him to rot in the darkness of the grave my Yami made, and from him I have arisen. The new Ryou. The one who isn't going to fall for my Yami's shit anymore. I'm not afraid.   
  
  
  
"I doubt that, Ryou." He sauntered over to me, his hips swaying ever so slightly with the arrogance only a true Yami can have, "How could you have forgotten all our times together so soon. I've missed you, your sweet scent...your lips..." he leaned forward as though to kiss me and I slapped him as hard as I could across the face.  
  
  
  
~Oh, no, not I-I will survive  
  
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive  
  
I've got all I'm life to live and I've got all my love to give  
  
And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey~  
  
  
  
~It took all the strength I had not to fall apart  
  
Kept tryin' so hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart  
  
And I spent, oh, so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself  
  
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high~  
  
  
  
~And you see me, somebody new  
  
I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you  
  
And so you feel like droppin' in and just expect me to be free  
  
But now I'm savin' all my lovin' for someone who's  
  
lovin' me~  
  
  
  
He was staring at me with pure shock and even, yes it was, pure unbridled anger. The force of the blow had sent him back a few steps. Crimson ran down his lip.   
  
  
  
"Get the hell out of here Yami, you're not welcome. I hate you more then anything in the world. And if you don't get out right now," I pulled a dagger out of my boot that I had swiped from Marik not long ago. I carried it with me everywhere now, "I'll kill you."   
  
  
  
"You can't kill me without killing yourself, baka." Whatever drunkenness that had sweltered through him and risen away at the sight of the glittering weapon I held in my hand.  
  
  
  
"You already did that, I'd just be finishing the job for you."  
  
  
  
"You don't have the backbone to kill me, Hikari, you know it and I know it. Don't play games with me. I know you better then you know yourself, you can't fool me."  
  
  
  
I laughed. I laughed long and hard, madness and hate were tangible through me. I pummeled all the murderous rage that flowed through my veins against his pitiful shields. I could see his eyes widening, a brief instant of fear crossing his face.   
  
  
  
"Have any more doubts, Yami?" I said sweetly.   
  
  
  
I lifted the blade up, caressing it with my finger. It sparkled rainbows in the light, cool and sharp against me. It ran up my finger, a slight sting and I felt blood begin to pour out. I giggled, amused as it slid down. I looked up at my Yami who was staring at me with slight horror.   
  
  
  
"Your as crazy as Marik n' his Hikari," he said, totally dead pan.   
  
  
  
I let out a short bark of laughter. I moved up next to him, my face so close to his I could feel his breath tickling my face. He stood a good two inches above me, but for a minute it was like I was looking down on him and not up. Oh yeah, I did look down on him. He's scum to me, hahahahahaha!  
  
  
  
I giggled loudly, my voice bouncing off the walls, "Maybe." I moved closer to him, "But, isn't that what you wanted my dear Yami? Didn't you want me pushed over the edge way back then? Isn't that why you beat me to an inch of my life? Hehehe, well, Yami you got your wish. I'm strong like you wanted, but now...I'm not with you. I'm against you. And right now I'm letting you walk away...If I get another chance though." I lifted the dagger to his neck and he grabbed my wrist hard, "I will kill you."   
  
  
  
~Go on now, go walk out the door  
  
Just turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore  
  
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye   
  
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down   
  
and die?~  
  
  
  
~Oh, no, not I-I will survive  
  
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive  
  
I've got all I'm life to live and I've got all my love to give  
  
And I'll survive, I will survive, oh~  
  
  
  
He tightened his grip on me, I think he was expecting me to cry out in pain but I didn't I held my gaze with him, mirroring his trademark smirk of cruelty.  
  
  
  
"Not if I kill you first," was his cold reply.  
  
  
  
He twisted my wrist hard to the side. I could feel the bones straining with the pressure. I didn't even blink. He pushed more pressure upon it, I felt my smirk widen. It was near being broken in half. A little more and it would snap. I didn't care. The pain was so distant, not even there. You can't hurt the dead, and while my body may be alive my soul sure as hell isn't any more.   
  
  
  
Bring it, you lowlife jackass.   
  
  
  
I let my smirk widen to a full fledged grin before I reached out my other arm against his flat stomach to gain as much balance as possible as I threw the jerk over my shoulder and onto the ground. Not expecting my move he had released me instantly. Reaching down I grabbed him hard by the hair and yanked his head up, exposing his unblemished, white neck to me.   
  
  
  
I pressed the dagger hard enough to draw thin slivers of blood.   
  
  
  
"Still want to play, Yami-chan?" I hissed.  
  
  
  
He laid still beneath me, I could feel his mind trying to probe mine. Trying to find a chink in this armor of insanity I had donned so he could bring me down. I'd slapped my barriers up as high as they could go, building a thick wall around my mind.   
  
  
  
I really don't think you're strong enough, Yami, to take me any more. What did you expect? For me to bow whimpering at your feet? To race to your every demand? To be your whore while you were with Anzu? A little crazy I may be, but with that came a since of clarity I've never known. I'm better then you Yami. I am. So you can just get the hell out of my life.   
  
  
  
I sent those feelings toward him. Feelings of uncaring and unbridled hatred. I am better then him now. I'm not going to hide in his shadow while he mops the floor with my dignity, and when it's all said and done, he'd throw me away like trash again. I'm better then that now. I am. And I'm not afraid.   
  
  
  
I leaned close to his face, "You tried to break me with your leaving, Yami. What did you think would happen when you did that? Hmm? Did you think you could just run back here, turn on a smile and then I'd be yours? Fat chance."   
  
  
  
I lifted him up by the hair, I felt a few strands come loose as I yanked him down the hallways. I kicked open the door and managed threw pure luck to throw him out onto the lawn. He glared up at me, jumping to his feet. His rage was palpable in the air, sizzling around him. He looked so amazing in the moonlight, surrounded by the natural elements of which he was forged.  
  
  
  
He is a Yami and with that comes the cruelty of a legion of demons could even image. But he hurt me, his Hikari, the one he was suppose to protect from all the evils of the world, even that of himself. He's failed. Failed me in ways that have torn my spirit to pieces. This is one transgression I can't forgive, and maybe if he hadn't come here tonight thinking he could destroy me again then I would be able to, eventually, let everything he's done...go.  
  
  
  
Of course I knew that was why he had come. Why else would he leave his precious Anzu's side? He said he was going to kill me, and since he can't kill me without killing himself, what better way to completely disable me from life then to shatter me again. I'm not as stupid as he thinks. I advanced on him, throwing the dagger off across the rising grass that very badly needed to be mowed.  
  
  
  
"Get...off...MY...yard."  
  
  
  
"Why? What's yours is mine, Hikari," he said, spitting the name 'Hikari' like a curse. It is a curse, to me at least, to be bonded to the likes of him.  
  
  
  
I wasn't amused, "Not anymore. Besides, what would your oh so wonderful Anzu say if she knew you were here right now?"  
  
  
  
I watched his face pale away lighter then its normal pallid color, his eyes were wide and his breathing was shortened as though I'd just landed a sucker punch right in his gut. Hehe, so she doesn't know he's here. Interesting...  
  
  
  
He turned to walk away only to crumple to the ground. A trick, I'm sure. But he wasn't moving, I walked over and nudged him with my foot... Nothing. I rolled him over, using just the toe of my boots. His eyes were closed and his breathing was thick and even, a little drool was even rolling down his cheek. The lil' cheater passed out! On MY YARD! Kami DAMN IT!  
  
  
  
I recoiled from him. Out cold, eh? Not like I owe him anything. I'm not going to pick him up and carry him into the house. That's just what he would want. Walk away, Ryou, come on just walk away!   
  
  
  
I couldn't.   
  
  
  
As much as he had done. As much as I hated the little bastard, I couldn't just leave him there alone no matter what he had done. I could feel tears burning in my eyes. I hate him so much because...because...I still love him. Oh I do...I could already feel the hardness of the mask and thoughts I'd thrown up to keep him at bay falling down.   
  
  
  
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I walked away and sat down in the threshold of the door.   
  
  
  
Damn you, Yami! Damn you to HELL!   
  
  
  
I sat there, sobbing until the sun would rise. Yami didn't stir once.   
  
  
  
~Go on now, go walk out the door  
  
Just turn around now, 'cause your not welcome anymore  
  
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye  
  
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?~  
  
~Oh, no, not I-I will survive  
  
Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay  
  
alive  
  
I've got all I'm life to live and I've got all my love  
  
to give  
  
And I'll survive, I will survive~  
  
~I will survive~  
  
  
  
  
  
A.n.-'n' we stop there. I'm sorry again for the wait. I've been really busy. My dad's b-day is comin' up so I'm runnin' 'round with my sisters trying to get everything ready in time...hope ya liked this chappie though. Hope I didn't make Ryou-chan too harsh or Bakura-chan to weak...I didn't mean for him to be...review onegai:)I'll only add more if ya review^_^ 


	6. Everything You Are

A.N.-Gomen for the wait, here's a chappie in Malik's p.o.v. :)I hope you all like it^_^ ^_^This chapter is also a very late b-day present to R Amythest, whose b-day was the sat. before last btw...^_^  
  
Dedication-R Amythest, Dark, Bakuraluva, The Girl who Sways Like Water, Fyredra, Celes-Snow, Mizu, MarmaladeGirl, Spark-gurl, Guess, Seashell1, Thockie, and Moshi. Thank you all of you! You all are SO encouraging! Whenever I have a writer's block or somethin' I read ya'all's reviews and ZOOM! I'm back to writing...so thank you!^_^  
  
Disclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "Everything You Are" by Goo Goo Dolls  
  
~You're cynical and beautiful  
  
You always make a scene;  
  
You're monochrome delirious  
  
You're nothing that you seem~  
  
~I'm drowin' in your vanity  
  
Your laugh is a disease  
  
You're dirty and you're sweet  
  
You know you're everything to me~  
  
He's like water.  
  
That's how I see Ryou. Nothing is as soft as water...but who can survive the raging flood? Not many. And from what I've seen of Ryou-chan's anger at Bakura and from what my Yami told me happened at the bar the night before last, it's a force to be reckoned with. He's different now from before. He used to be still, placid...so calm...there was barely a ripple no matter what you did. Now it's like someone threw a boulder into it along with a bunch of other rocks to keep the water from returning to its original state. And even if it did, it's forever changed. Like Ryou...I don't think he can ever go back to being the way he was.   
  
Gone is the shy, quiet, naively sweet boy I had known both in this life and the last. Replaced by a cynical face with eyes of unending tears held back. His eyes...I loved looking into his eyes back then. They were always so *open*, so innocent...not like Yuugi-kun...but there was a light in them that could not be buried. Until now. An inferno of rage and betrayal mixed with sorrow is all I can see now. I miss his eyes.   
  
I closed my eyes, leaning into the dark embrace of my Yami next to me. The blaring rock music was comforting to my ears, sweeping everything away...making it so unreal that it didn't matter to me. Ryou means a lot to me, to me and Yami actually. We both love him as a lover, though in his weakened state not even my Yami or I would try to make our relationship much deeper. Though holding back is like standing on quick sand. We're going to sink eventually. And I don't care.   
  
His kisses are so addictive, too, and he keeps giving both me and Yami ones at random. Each one leaving me hungering for the next. If Ryou chose to want to join both my Yami's relationship and I...that's fine. I don't mind, nor does Yami. I doubt he'll want to take it to the physical level for a long while, though. It doesn't bother me that much...though if he was ready I'd pounce on him in an instant. The boy is so provocative and he doesn't even know it! Innocently seductive...most of the time...other times I think he does it on purpose!  
  
I sighed, snuggling under my Yami's arm. I looked aimlessly around us at the moving bodies of those around us, each swaying to the tempo of the music, of life. Their eyes shone with youth, happiness, innocent wonder. An irrational urge to grab my Sennen Rod, blade extended, and slit the throats of all of them nearly overwhelmed me. Pure fiery hatred for each and every one washed over me like an ocean. I loathed them all so much...so very much...why should they be happy when a Hikari was in suffering? Why should they have light when one of the purest had his covered in deceit and lies?  
  
My Yami tightened his grip on me, nuzzling his head against my neck. He was warning me not to. True, he loved a massacre more then me...but we were in the open with too many victims in an unconfined space...and chances are one of the fools would get to a phone and call those police people. Not to say I feared law enforcement, they were no real threat...but I was tired mentally and didn't feel like using my Sennen Rod on everyone in a ten mile radius. It was rather draining.  
  
Abruptly the image of spiky silver haired fiend with diamond hard eyes and sharp yet handsome features flashed in my mind's eye. I felt my lips lift in a sneer. My hate for him made my momentary murderous intent on the unsuspecting mortals near me a mere nothing. There was the prize I wanted nothing more than to torture and kill the sorry bastard...spear him through, watch his blood run down my hands...sit on top of him as the light faded from his eyes...his last breathe coming out in a gasp...  
  
But I can't, for numerous reasons. The first and foremost being that if Bakura dies so does Ryou, and vice versa...one of the downsides to being joined to a Yami. Death affects you both. Well...the Yami'll just get sealed back into their Sennen Item...but to them that is a fate worse then death. A never-ending darkness as they await someone to done them and release them into this miniature world of hell.   
  
Still, a single question kept nagging at the back of my mind, forbidding itself to be forgotten. Why? Why had Bakura done this? What in nine hells was so fascinating about her? Yes, she had a bodacious figure, yes she was mildly attractive if you got past the irritating vindictive personality...but what was it that drew Bakura? He had hated her back then for driving a wedge between him and his koi, what had changed? What?   
  
I leaned further into my Yami's embrace, loving the feel of his hands on my body. Like warm fire erupting through every passage of skin, his hands grazed. To be with your other half is to transcend levels that others can't even dream of. It's absolute, you fall into each other, merging, shifting, mixing together until it's hard to tell where you end and they begin. How could anyone give up such a paradise?  
  
Ryou meant more to my Yami and I then anyone else. He was closer then anyone could ever be, closer than even Isis was to us and that is saying a lot. We love him, in our own way. Everything about him, screamed for us to protect and make him ours before the world tried to do just that before us. They would break him and this time there would be no recovery. We liked Ryou pliant beneath our hands, but we wanted what small measure of sanity he had left to stay right where it was.  
  
I sighed, glancing up out of the corner of my eye at the lavender-eyed bastard that held me in his thrall just as I held him in mine. None could beat the beautifully deadly creature before me. Molded in utter darkness, shaped and twisted in a night that would drive another completely off the bridge of sanity and into death from pure, petrifying fear.  
  
I hate him. I love him. I'd kill him if I had half the chance, I'd protect him from anyone who dared to attempt to take him from me. Ah, what a paradox he and I live in. I hate him more then anything in the world, my heart all but screams it. But at the same time his kisses leave me weak-kneed and unable to think. His touch frazzles my nerves in a way no one can. He and he alone has seduced me in ways my other lovers would have been to *shy* to. Is this love? Perhaps. But I don't really give a damn either way.  
  
I sighed, it's not really worth thinking about. I'm tied to him on a tight-rope on the edge of a cliff so that if one of us falls the other falls. No matter what. I licked my lips and focused absently on some of the American music that was spouting out from the speakers. Some brand of rock music. Hard and fast, the voices screaming out lyrics that made sense what you caught on to the meaning. I liked it, and from the grin I couldn't see but feel from my lover, so did he.  
  
Frozen in time. That's what we all had been. The thought came abruptly, without any sort of warning. I agreed with it, musing over it. At Ryou's death it was...like everything had been frozen until his rebirth and having the Ring. Was I the only one that thought after a hundred and some years that the reincarnations of Yuugi and everyone all looked alike and had similar names to before, that we were all mysteriously in Domino City?   
  
It was like we had all been kept in the eye of the whirlwind of life, watching everything pass until a single, right moment that coexisted with the past was suddenly whirling by. Only then were we thrust back into life, back into the murderous raging winds. We all had similar histories to back then even...and we had all become friends again...it was too strange. Too accurate. Too...planned, even. I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't like the idea of some higher power toying with my destiny. Not one bit. I was in control...and maybe Marik at some times, but mostly me! Still...the coincidence was too much to just be forgotten...  
  
~Everything you are  
  
Falls from the sky like a star  
  
Everything you are  
  
Whatever ever you are~  
  
~I wanna kill the machine   
  
That made you piss away your dreams  
  
Tear down your defenses  
  
'Till there's nothing left but me~  
  
~You're angry when you're beautiful  
  
Your love is such a tease  
  
I'm drowning in your dizzy noise  
  
I wanna feel you scream~  
  
Ryou Bakura.   
  
I couldn't stop thinking about him. The lush waves of white hair around his smooth, lean face. And his eyes...they almost scare me now. I missed the softness, missed the sight of dreams that had once dwelled in them. Missed the way his voice had been so kind. Hardness was all that filled those areas now...well most of his areas...he's still as lean as ever...in *some* places...hehehe.  
  
Still...I missed him. Missed him so much it actually hurt a little bit. This Ryou...he was so different. So like...Bakura in some ways. His actions, the way he sat on the sofa at times, the way he chewed his food, the way he'd suddenly abruptly say something, even his entire body language had been changed.   
  
Oh it was still Ryou, under it all...under the pile of lies and masks it was still little Ryou, he's just hiding right now...trying to shut out the world so he could deal with this pain. I understood that. I had done it many times myself, it buried the pain but it was always there. An open wound never heals.  
  
Hate stirred in my very soul as I remembered the reason why Ryou-chan had lost himself in this dark wake of emotion. It was because of Bakura! He made Ryou-chan lose his dreams; crushed them away without a second thought. To be able to kill him with no strings attached would be a wondrous thing. My hate runs deep, more boundless then the ocean. Forgiveness is something I cannot give to any, once you've lost my trust it is not something to be regained. Ever. Not that I could ever really forgive Bakura for what he has done. I loathe him beyond words, and that will never change.   
  
Still, the question whirled right back. What had caused this? What had changed Bakura's feelings? I shoved the thought away. It didn't matter. He had hurt Ryou, and for that I will make him pay. I will. My koi and are masterminds of pain, and he and I will find a way to make him suffer for this. Somehow.   
  
Ryou. He's off at his house right now, probably in the middle of a confrontation with Bakura. That's good. I don't like the idea of that sonofabitch anywhere near Ryou, but I knew Ryou had to do this. He had to show Bakura that he was strong, that he wasn't going to fall for that same ol' mumbo jumbo he had before. He had to prove to himself that Bakura held no power over him.  
  
A lie, but not a lie is that. Bakura still holds some control over the white haired Hikari, deep down beyond the anger, he does. But it is a power that Ryou will never again let him access. Ever. Betrayal burns deep, too deep to ever really be forg---  
  
The Pharaoh!!!  
  
I forced myself not to move and instead simply looked calmly over at him. Shadow Magic was rolling in waves off of him, anger slashed across those regal features of his as he moved over to Marik and I's booth. Mortals moved away as they felt or saw him coming, feeling the malevolent rage that all but reeked from the once Pharaoh. Fearing, perhaps, his rage may just fall upon them. From the look on his face, maybe they weren't wrong.  
  
Yugioh slumped down across from us in the leather seats of our booth. His face looked drawn, contemplative and angry. So very angry. Despite my self-restraint, I could feel a flicker of a smile twitch my lips. Though I care for Ryou deeply, the sight of seeing Yugioh in such a helpless rage *is* kind of funny. I felt an agreement echo through Yami and I's link. Marvelous thing that. It never closes between he and I. Everything I feel, he feels and vice versa. It was so natural to have him connected to me that way, the mere thought of being like the "normal" people around me without Yami made my heart jump in my throat and a fear I could not deny rise within me. I stamped it down quickly, hoping Yami hadn't noticed. He had. His arms tightened around me, his lips brushing my ear comfortingly. Bliss.  
  
"We have to do something." Yugioh all but snarled the sentence, sharp white teeth flashed and gritted at he spoke.  
  
"We could just kill the bitch," I said, shrugging slightly as several gleeful ways of doing just that danced through my mind. That would be so much fun...  
  
Yugioh gave me a look, "True. But...I don't know, something about this whole situation...it bothers me. I mean, you saw Ryou before in the beginning of this and the last life. He loved Bakura. He did, and I'm sure it was mutual..." Yugioh rubbed his nose warily. "It sure as hell felt real."  
  
I snickered and felt my Yami echo it. The memory shot through my mind like it was yesterday. Bakura nailing Yugioh hard in the nose...blood runnin' down his face as he tried to keep his calm...I felt the laughter die in my throat as I remember why Bakura had struck Yugioh. Because Ryou had just died. The thought sobered me completely. The pain of that moment rang hard through both me and my Yami. Neither of us wanted to live through that again.  
  
~Everything you are   
  
Falls from the sky like a star  
  
Everything you are  
  
Whatever ever you are~  
  
~Everything you are  
  
Falls from the sky like a star  
  
Everything you are  
  
Whatever ever you are~  
  
"Besides...haven't you noticed the energy fluctuations coming from Anzu lately?" Yugioh questioned.   
  
Come to think of it...I had been feeling a sort of power from her recently...especially whenever Bakura was near. At my expression Yugioh nodded.   
  
"You think she cast a spell on Bakura?" I asked, raising an eyebrow cynically. "Doubtful. Where would she even get the spell idea? And much more, she's not that smart anyway."  
  
Marik rubbed his head against mine lightly before pulling away. "Don't underestimate her," he said, his voice drawling the words in that growl underneath it, "any baka mortal can harness some powers."  
  
Yugioh smiled slightly, his eyes glazing in a way that I knew he was communicating with his lighter half. Yugioh looked around carefully, and after confirming that no one was looking, Yuugi appeared in his lap. The small, sweet Hikari wrapped his arms around his dark's neck and buried his face there before looking over at us.   
  
"Have you noticed that pendent Anzu's been wearing? It glows sometimes...especially around Bakura...maybe that has something to do with it."  
  
"You think maybe she's using it control Bakura's feelings?" I asked thoughtfully, "I suppose that's possible...though it would have been quite a spell to do that...and if that's what she did...how can we break it?"  
  
"Difficult," my Yami responded, "It's like opening a floodgate...how can we stop the flood?"  
  
"Slam the dam back down," I said.  
  
Yugioh chuckled, wrapping his arms around his Hikari and rubbing his face in the tri-colored strands of his hair.  
  
"It's not that simple," he murmured, wrapping his fingers around his Hikari's hands as he spoke.  
  
I leaned up to catch a chaste kiss from my darker half, sighing in pleasure as his teeth caught my bottom lip and tugged ever so gently...I pulled away quickly. Focus. I had to focus...and not on the incredible sex god behind me but on Ryou's future...and on Anzu's spell...yes...focus...mmmm...another yummy kiss...I love his kisses...they're addictive. Yami would protect me from anything in the world. Do anything for me to make me happy...which is partly why he still obsesses about trying to take over the world. He can shape into what he wills...and what I will for that matter.  
  
"Then what do we do? Kill the bitch? That would help," I said, a longing smile lifting my lips.   
  
To see her mangled corpse on the carpet floor of her home, or maybe her bed, her blemishless skin a beautiful carved treasure of my own making. He body, a grotesque reminder of what happens when you screw around with a Yami's emotions and try to destroy a Hikari. I licked my lips ferally. She would pay. She would. For all of this. The hoe would die at my hands.   
  
"Yes, we could do that. But that may not break it either, depends on how far gone Bakura is to her. If we could get her to do a binding spell it'd definitely help."  
  
"Couldn't we just do that?" I replied.  
  
Yuugi nodded, agreeing with me, "Yeah, I mean you two probably know lotsa spells anyway."  
  
The ageless Pharaoh nodded, "We could. It'd probably work better that way anyway...maybe."  
  
"When do we do it?" Yuugi asked, violet eyes of innocence piercing through me as he spoke.   
  
It was an innocence that reminded me instantly of Ryou and made my heart jump into my throat. A protectiveness I didn't understand filled the bond between my Yami and I. We didn't want what happened to Ryou to happen to Yuugi. Yuugi was...far more delicate then Ryou. Ryou was strong, stronger then anyone would really think. To lose his Yami would send Yuugi skirting off the edge, into a dark abyss to which nothing could ever rise him from.   
  
Ryou's so strong, but so weak as well. Fragile, but not. He has risen above his anguish with vengeance born of hate and anger. Hiding behind the image his Yami had held when first released form his shadow prison of the Ring. Dance around the subject as much as you like, but the truth of the matter is that Ryou is not the same as he once was. His innocence has been shattered, and the only way to retrieve that which was lost is to restore his Yami to him. Easier said then done.   
  
I hate him for this, it doesn't matter that he is under the spell Anzu cast. He hurt Ryou. And I'd kill anyone else for doing such a thing. He's my best friend, my lover, the second closest person to me in this world. But if having Bakura back will make him happy, then I'll do it.   
  
"Yugioh and my Yami can cast the spell tonight...I'll go to her apartment and kill her while you're doing that."  
  
My Yami shook his head, "No, I'll do it. You go with Yugioh to do it. He'll need your powers more then mine."  
  
"But I want to do it!" I shouted, anger seething through me.  
  
More then anything I wanted to be the one to spill her blood, see the light fade from her treacherous eyes as I sent her to the Underworld. I wanted her dead more then anything in the world.  
  
"I know, Hikari," he murmured. "But it would be suspicious if you went. In the last life I tricked her into being with me, and she seems to only have a real interest in us Yamis. I'll be able to get in to kill her. Don't worry, I'll keep the link wide open so you can feel every second of her end."  
  
He made sense, but I still wanted to be the one to do it...yet I knew he was right.  
  
"Fine. I'll go with you Yugioh, Yuugi. We'll make sure her spell is removed."  
  
They nodded. I smiled wickedly. Tonight's the night.   
  
Worry suddenly filled the naive face of Yuugi, "What if Bakura's there? Won't he try to stop you?"  
  
"He won't be. Ryou...he went to his house tonight...and Marik and I saw him leave after him. No doubt he's getting royally chewed out by Ryou at the moment. Besides, with as much as we saw him drink tonight...he'll probably pass out before he can interfere."  
  
Yuugi nodded, "A-alright."  
  
Poor boy. I know he doesn't really want to be involved in the death of another, even if it is the evil bitch Anzu. He holds compassion for everyone, just like Ryou. I shoved the thought away. Yuugi didn't want to do this, but he wouldn't interfere. I knew that much. Besides...we have to do this or Ryou will just...wither away completely. We'll never get the real him back...if he isn't already too far gone...  
  
The time's come. I smiled over at Yuugi and Yugioh ferally and rose off my Yami's lap. We've got work to do. By morning Anzu will be dead, and her spell from Bakura removed...maybe then everything will be as it should be.  
  
Maybe.  
  
~Everything you are  
  
Whatever ever you are  
  
Whatever ever you are  
  
Whatever ever you are~  
  
A.N.-'n' we stop there. I hope you all enjoyed this chappie:). Yup, Anzu's about ready to die 'n' all...but don't worry, this fic soooo ain't over yet...I've plans for Ryou n' Bakura in store^_~. Review onegai:)I live off ya'all's reviews^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ 


	7. Violence Fetish

A.n.-GOMEN! I'm very sorry on the lateness of this…I really am... but things came up that wouldn't let me write much…the fact that I suddenly got major writers block did NOT help any…but here's the chapter…it's in Ishtar's p.o.v. um, enjoy?:)Review onegai.  
  
  
  
And Neko Kakeru, your right 'n' I'm very sorry to torture you all like that…if it helps, hehehe, this chapter contains something I bet ya'all have been looking forward to.  
  
  
  
Dedication- R Amythest, WAAAA!, Alz-chan, Moshi, Celestialic, DreamingChild, and MarmaladeGirl.Thank you all for your reviews! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^I all kept going back to them to give me some oomph to write…ty again!!^_^  
  
  
  
Disclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "Violence Fetish" by Disturbed.  
  
  
  
  
  
~Bring the violence  
  
It's significant to the life  
  
If you've ever known any one  
  
Bring the violence, it's significant  
  
To the life, cane you feel it?~  
  
  
  
~How can you sleep?  
  
When you live with your lies  
  
Out of your mouth  
  
Up from your mind~  
  
Blood on the walls, blood on my hands.  
  
  
  
And yet I still feel empty.  
  
  
  
The endless sounds of her screams are still echoing through this room, through my mind and quivering inside my soul. My other half is reveling in those visions. He loves the sight of that bitch in pure agony. As did I, there is no sight that can compare to seeing her lying there under my knife where she belonged.  
  
  
  
I have ridded this world of her presence, of her lies and deceit. In a way I've done my civic duty to this time. And I am happy she is dead, make no mistake. I'd kill her again and again and again if I could. I'd stretch it on for years and years to come. But I don't have time for years of torturing her. Alive she's too much a risk, too much of a liability. Better dead, don't think I'm being merciful however. She will never know any symbolic of peace ever again.  
  
  
  
Her soul is tatters. Wandering the darkness of the Shadow Realm in utter agony. She's been split down the middle. I doubt she even knows who she is anymore, or who she was, I should say. Perhaps some shadow monster will take pity and swallow up her soul completely... if she's lucky that is.  
  
  
  
I looked around her apartment. Her parents had given their little princess everything she wanted. Expensive, now broken, trinkets littered her apartment. Anything and everything she had desired had been handed to her. Born with the silver spoon right in her mouth she was. Too bad she didn't choke on it at birth. Would've saved us all a lot of trouble.  
  
  
  
But that doesn't matter now. She's gone. Long gone. I leaned against the wall, imprinting the image before me in my mind.   
  
  
  
Drip…drip…drip….  
  
  
  
Crimson dribbles down the walls, the once pink-carpeted floor glows a vibrant red. Warm and alive in ways that make a smile twitch at my lips. I do love my work. I did an excellent job this time. I doubt that even her own dotting parents will be able to identity what's left of their 'perfect little girl'.   
  
  
  
Hahaha…I truly have out done myself, haven't I?   
  
  
  
Why then? Why does it feel as though nothing has changed? Why does it feel like all her death has done is make matters worse?   
  
  
  
And why isn't he...ah, I spoke too soon.   
  
  
  
He's on his way. I can feel him. Bakura. Looks like he's angry too. Aw, poor baby. Hehehe!  
  
  
  
That's when I felt it.   
  
  
  
A sudden warming through out my body, a sugary sweetness that filled me to my very core. This was what I had really wanted. Vengeance on her meant nothing to me. She wasn't really the cause of all this chaos. Oh, she might've laid the groundwork, but the real one was that that know it all little prick Bakura. Always had to have it all even back then. Well, you screwed it up Bakura. And I'm going to enjoy turning your whole world into ashes right before your eyes.  
  
~That kind of thinking stars a chain reaction  
  
You are a time bomb ticking away  
  
You need to release~  
  
~What you're feeling inside  
  
Let out the beast  
  
That you're trying to hide  
  
Step right up and be part of the action  
  
Get your game face on because it's time to play~  
  
I looked around the room until my eyes fell onto Anzu's dresser. Yes, there it was. Just where I left it. Or what was left of it anyway. I made her eat the rest of it. It was amuseing to watch her.   
  
As the light of her conceited soul was fading, but she was still very much alive under my power, as she forcibly chewed on her own heart while her one eye was crying like crazy while the other empty socket just stared blankly out…ah, beautiful memories. Funny memories at that. Hehe.  
  
  
  
I walked over and picked up what was left of her little heart and crossed my arms, hiding it underneath my elbow. I leaned back onto it, leaning casually on the corner of her blood soaked dresser. Ah, we had fun, me and her. Lots of fun. Now when's that little pussy Bakura going to get up here to give my reward for this little job? It took a lot of energy you know. And I want what I deserve for it. His broken spirit. And I know I'm gonna get it. Hahaha…too perfect. This is going to be priceless….  
  
  
  
"ANZUUUUUUUUUU!!!"  
  
  
  
I smirked at his cry as he flew through the door, it whacked against the wall as it vibrated from the harsh impact. He stared around at the ruby soaked room, he drew in a breath sharply, red-brown eyes shimmered like cut diamonds.   
  
  
  
"Looking for someone?" I drawled.   
  
  
  
He turned sharply to the side, his eyes locking onto me. Anguish riveted through his gaze and I was proud to be one to put it there. Crumble, Bakura, just crumble. It's no less then you deserve.  
  
  
  
~You're pushing and fighting your way  
  
You're ripping it up~  
  
  
  
His entire body trembled and I watched tears fill those once hard eyes. Tears of utter hatred and sorrow. Good. Pain is good Bakura. I hope you drown in it.  
  
  
  
"Why?"  
  
  
  
The question came out clearer then I expected. No tremble, no ragged breaths to betray the torment I could so clearly see in those ageless orbs of his. I pouted in disappointment.  
  
  
  
"Why not? What goes around comes around, Bakura, you know that."  
  
"You killed Anzu-koi…."  
  
  
  
An inhumane growl escaped his lips and he charged at me with murder reflecting all over his face. I dodged languidly. He was like an enraged animal, nothing more and nothing less. My work was done. I'd stripped away the one thing he had wanted, spell or not, just as he had Ryou. I'd torn him asunder in the same manner.   
  
  
  
There is one thing we Yami's hadn't shared with our Hikari counter parts.  
  
  
  
The spell only works if there is a tiny pebble of desire there. Even if it's the tiniest glimpse of it, a sand kernel of it…that's how her spell worked. She didn't just want him to mindlessly want her. She wanted to make sure he had desired her from the beginning. And he had.   
  
  
  
And that is why I hate him so much.  
  
  
  
This was never about Anzu, this was about Bakura not being able to make up his god damn mind. The spell only gave him a nudge to the open doorway of betrayal. He's the one that had to step through it. I dangled what was left of her heart in front of me, tossing it over to him. He caught it, dropping it the instant he realized what it was. Whose it was. Hahaha…  
  
  
  
"Sayonara, Bakura. I'll see you in hell."  
  
  
  
I whispered the farewell, smirking as he charged at me again. His hands rested on my throat and began to squeeze just as I allowed the power of the Sennen Rod to flush through me. A cocoon of warmth born of the coldest shadows wrapped around me, soothing an ache I barely even noticed any more. I opened my red lavender eyes to see my soul room around me.  
  
~How do you live without playing he game?  
  
Sit on the side and expect to keep sane  
  
Step right up and be a part of the action  
  
Come get a piece of it before it's too late~  
  
~Take a look around   
  
You can't deny what you see  
  
We're living in a violent society~  
  
~Well, my brother, let me show you a better way  
  
So get your game face on because it's time to play  
  
You're pushing and fighting your way, you're ripping it up~  
  
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and dropped backward onto the many silk pillows that made up my 'bed'.   
  
  
  
I'd done it.   
  
  
  
Ryou-chan…you're avenged now. Well, I wouldn't go that far. I can never really avenge all the pain you've been forced to endure, even with my immortal life. Or Bakura's for that matter. Nothing done will ever take away what he has bestowed on you. But I will help you. I'll help you forget him, and give you the life and love you deserve.   
  
  
  
Malik cares for you and as do I. We can widen our partnership to include you. A possessive part of me growled in protest at sharing my Hikari, even with another Hikari like Ryou. But another part of me really didn't mind the idea of having *two* Hikaris to love and cuddle on.   
  
  
  
Not that the great Yami of the Rod cuddles on any one. No, that wouldn't be…ahem, yes. Moving on. I sat up slowly. Speaking of my Hikari…I wonder what he is doing…I reached out to him, feeling that soul of his curl up to mine. Still enjoying the visions of Anzu's death. Not surprising. My koi's love for the boy borders upon obsession. The damage Anzu had helped to cause on his once stainless soul was a sin that could not be forgiven in his eyes.  
  
  
  
Just as Bakura's betrayal will never be forgiven in mine.  
  
There is only one problem that remains. Beneath his shield of hatred and sorrowful rage, Ryou is still Ryou. His ability to forgive still runs deep, and no matter what he may pretend, I know he still cares for Bakura regardless of what he has done.  
  
  
  
I felt a snarl lift my lips. Bakura would only hurt Ryou again and again. Maybe not intentionally, but he would. It's in his nature to destroy him. I know this. Ryou is too fragile for Bakura, he will only be crushed again and again. And like glass, when he is broken he may be repaired once and if ones luck is high perhaps twice, but in there will come a time when he won't be able to just be glued back together. He's struggling even now, what will he do when Bakura harms him again?   
  
  
  
What lengths will he go to make the pain disappear?  
  
  
  
I understand what pain can do to the mind. I enjoy inflicting what I know on those who are worthy of my talents, but because of that knowledge I know what will happen to Ryou. If madness will not take him, the Underworld will. And I won't be able to stop it, I will not be able to protect him. Not from himself, and not from the other half of his very soul. I can try, but I will fail.   
  
  
  
Ryou's only hope is to break away from Bakura. But even now, after all that has happened now and in the past, I know that he will not. The boy's love is a force of it's own, deep and calm like water, rushing down to drown the one he chooses to bestow it upon with a blissful intensity.  
  
Bakura is fire, harsh and bright. Beautiful and beguiling to gaze upon, but once you get close enough he will burn you. Badly, harshly and many a time without even a shred of regret. Wrap your arms around him, gift to him your very heart and soul if you wish and he will turn you to ash.  
  
  
  
I tried to forget all of this in our last life. I tried to forget that Bakura is still Bakura, and while in some ways he may seem to be the victim of all this, he is not. Bakura acts for himself, he indulges himself in his own pleasures, he will drink from the cup that is Ryou's life with an insatiable hunger. And when Ryou is so warped up inside, until he is dry in every way he will die.   
  
Horribly, painfully.   
  
  
  
I thought that Ryou would balance out Bakura. After all, is that not the very nature of a Yami–Hikari bond? That's what happened with Malik and I. He is the light to my darkness, I would die to protect him and would kill any who dare to look twice at him with any... expression. He is mine, and I would destroy any who tried to say different. Look at Yuugi and the Pharaoh, they compliment each other's personalities well.   
  
  
  
It should be the same for Ryou and Bakura, but it is not.  
  
  
  
Pain, hatred, lust, love, and sorrow are the chains that bind them together. Inseparable are they even in death. I cannot change this, and even if I could I dare say it would do more harm to the snow-haired Hikari then anything else. For like it or not, they do need each other. They ease the rough, soul searing agony inside that calls for each other. They are trapped for eternity in this waltz of misery.   
  
  
  
What will I do?   
  
  
  
Will I lay here and let fate take its course? Will I allow Ryou to make his own choice, knowing all too well that it will be the wrong one? Will I stand by and watch him die again?   
  
  
  
I don't know.  
  
  
  
I don't know anything any more. The only way to protect Ryou would be to destroy him, and even in death he will not be free. You cannot be free from the other half of your very being. It doesn't work that way. Bakura will follow him, no matter where he goes, where he runs he will always be there, nipping at his heels.   
  
  
  
Gods, when did I become so melodramatic?  
  
But it is the truth, I can't deny that. Anzu is dead, but the story isn't over. What will Ryou do? Take Bakura back? The thought seems likely, but then again... the fury that dwells within Ryou can't be sated that easily…or can it? I rolled over, drawing one of my numerous pillows to my chest.   
  
  
  
All there is to now is wait and see; I'll interfere if I can…but I don't think I can do much good here. Ryou does desire Malik and I…but that doesn't mean that he will shun Bakura for us. Or does it?   
  
  
  
Gah. Riddles. That's what this is, one giant riddle that, as soon as one piece is solved, you go right back the beginning because the problem was never really solved at all.  
  
  
  
Still, I'm happy the witch is dead…but a battle won doesn't mean you can't still lose the war. And the stakes are high…so very high.  
  
  
  
Ra….please…  
  
  
  
Ryou…  
  
  
  
Hang onto your hate…it may be all that saves you…  
  
  
  
I closed my eyes.   
  
  
  
I hate wild cards.  
  
  
  
  
  
~So tell me what am I suppose to be?  
  
Another goddman drone?  
  
Tell me what I am supposed to be  
  
Should I leave it on the inside?  
  
Should I get ready to play?~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A.n.-And we stop there. My deepest apologies for the lateness on this chapter. I've been…distracted I guess you could say and I've had a bit of writer's block as well. I hope you all liked this chapter. I wasn't gonna write about Anzu's death…Buuuuuuuuuut, I thought after all the trouble she caused ya'all deserved to know for sure that yes, ding dong the bitch is dead!^_^ lol :) Review onegai… 


	8. Paper Doll

A.n.-SORRY! I didn't mean to take so long…but I have had a lot of my fics on hold… I have the chappie for you, it's Bakura's p.o.v…perhaps one you've been waiting for. I hope you like. Please review.   
  
A big thanks to Well, LOOK AT THAT! for helping me find a song for this chapterI really appreaciate it!Ty!!:)  
  
Dedication-Well, LOOK AT THAT! R Amythest, DreamingChild, Vsakura, Feirdra, Alz-chan, Moshi, Celestialic, Neko Kakeru, and Akinari. Thank you all very much for your reviews. I really do appreciate them. If not for them, I probably wouldn't even bother with writing any more to this fic, so really, thanks a lot every one. I love to read your reviews -- it's one of the highlights of my day to see a review. so ty again  
  
Disclaimer-I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song "Paper Doll" by Kittie.

I look at her in that paper dress  
I wonder why she won't burn  
She's just a paper doll, that's all  
Just a paper doll  
  
Blessed darkness.  
  
It surrounded me to my very core. Engulfing me in its twisted hold, restraining my mind in the swirling shadows that I had long since become accustomed to. Had come to love like nothing else…and hate.   
  
Emotions swept through my mind like an uncaring tide. The sultry taste of bile lingered on my tongue and I turned away. I'd submitted to my baser desire, same as I have always done. The spell was an excuse: did any one really think that anyone could control the likes of me? I am Yami no Bakura! Spirit of the Ring, demon Tomb Robber of Ancient Egypt! To be brought down by a measly mortal girl with the lowest form of magic? Not even the slightest chance…  
  
Impossible. It had taken effect because…I…I had allowed it.  
  
Voices shouted inside of me, a guilt I could not deny rose within my chest like a painful dart.   
  
Why? WHY?!   
  
Why would I throw everything away, everything I've always wanted and strove for even all those years ago? I'd found my sanctuary…and I burnt it to ashes. I finally accomplished what at one time I'd desired. I'd broken his spirit, twisted my Hikari reflection's to reflect my own darkness…just as…just as Marik had done.   
  
But unlike him, I had my reasons for doing what I did…petty though they may be, and perhaps even a little crazy. HAHAHAHA! But then, I had been sealed in the poison of the Shadow World in this blasted Ring for 5,000 years and then a raindrop of a 100…I was entitled to have more then a few screws loose here and there, was I not? Hehehe…  
  
I giggled. It bounced off the shapeless walls with even more intensity…it hurt my ears…but I couldn't stop laughing. Hysteria clouded my mind, my soul, and I laughed. I laughed until my side wanted to split, until I was laying on the shadows of my soul room gasping for breath.   
  
I didn't care.  
  
Not really. Not enough, anyway.   
  
Did I care? Oh yes, I loved Ryou…in my own way.  
  
BUT THAT RA BE DAMNED DOPPLEGANGER THAT IS SHAREING MY SOUL IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE RYOU!  
  
Oh, he looks like him. Hell, he even shares his gestures, his mannerisms to the very 'T' but he's NOT RYOU! But of course the others don't realize that. Oh, he's a reincarnation so he must be the same goddamn person! NO! It DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!  
  
If it did, then this would just be the fucking Fairy Tale of century wouldn't it, but it's NOT. Because it doesn't work that way. You can't give someone memories and then just pick up where the hell you left off. It's not like that, it never will be like that! My Ryou is dead! DEAD.   
  
And…that…will…not…change.  
  
Ever.  
  
I cannot bring my Hikari back, and I don't know what that thing is --that thing is that's sharing my soul-- but it's…not…Ryou. I know my Hikari, I know his soul and that is not he. He may seem like my Ryou, but he's not…he's not. I SAW him die! I FELT his soul leave mine.  
  
He may be Ryou in body and in memory…but he is not my Hikari. He holds traces of what he was…enough to confuse me. Yes, he's a Hikari, my Hikari in a way, alright…but not exactly like he was before.  
  
And I want that back. I want the Hikari I had before. You can't just pawn off this…this THING with hopes to replace him. It's disgrace to my lover's memory.   
  
"Is that what you think, Yami dear?"  
  
The voice was cold, cutting. But so like his…so like the Ryou from before.  
  
I turned.   
  
Hair so white it burned, eyes of brown glittered like diamonds. Hate. Anger. Fury. All the same. And that purity…that pure essence that nothing can really remove…it shines still beneath the tarnish…that he shares with my Ryou. All the more beautiful even when broken down.  
  
The scene changed as I was torn from my soul room into his.  
  
We stood now atop a building, the sky was gray, clouds moving fast against each other. Cold wind brushed past, like ice against my flesh. Thunder clapped above, lightning made angry streaks across the setting.   
  
And he stood there. Eyes stared like glass, unflinching and unafraid of me. How our roles have been switched. The tormented now stands strong against he that broke   
  
him to nothing…but he was nothing without me to begin with, so not much changed there.  
  
I had not blocked for this very reason. I wanted him to hear, I wanted him to come to me of his own will. I had tired of this game we play. Boo hoo, betray, cry, angry words and then the forgiveness. It doesn't work that way…especially when you're not really who I want you to be.  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
I kept the link open, wide and he did the same. I could feel his anger, his hate…I'm sure he felt the same…there was something else though…something I could not place under it all. A kind of serenity in the whirlwind of loathing. Something just beneath the surface, a knowledge I could not place…. Uncertainty coiled in my belly, adrenalin spurted through my veins.   
  
"I think you're a liar, but that's nothing new is it?" he walked toward me. "Who do you really think you're fooling, Yami? It sure as hell isn't me. What's the   
  
matter, can't face the truth?"  
  
"Shut it. I can face the truth just fine. You're not Ryou. You may look like him, hell you even feel the same…but you're not him and you never will be."  
  
"No, I'm not 'your' Ryou – in any since of the word. But I am your Hikari," his nose wrinkled, his tone one of disgust at the mere admission, "unfortunate though that may be. I am not the Ryou I was in my last life by your side. I am different. I am in a sense some one else entirely…I was someone else before YOU came along. You and your STUPID MEMORIES AND YOUR RING!"  
  
"I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO PUT THE DAMN THING ON DID I?!"I shot back.  
  
He laughed then. A loud laugh that was accompanied by a slight drizzle from the heavens above. Mist rose from the ground, the wind struck blindly against my face. My hair flew in every direction, slapping my skin like tiny whips. Ryou's did the same. Funny, he nearly looked intimidating like that.  
  
"Yes, you did. You wanted your freedom back so badly you could taste   
  
it. That…and you knew I was the reincarnation of him." His voice dropped to an accusing whisper,"You had to bind me back to you. It's easy to live without something until you know what a touch of completion is!"   
  
His voice rose, a cold fury coating the words, "And now…because of YOU I can't sort myself from what he was! And YOU! You have the balls to stand there and act all," his voice rose to a high pitch, mockery dripped like acid, "'poor pitiful me, I did it because he's not the real Ryou,'" he scoffed, his voice going deadpan. "But that isn't the truth, is it, Yami?" he stressed the title, adding a sneering mock respect as I did when I said 'pharaoh' to Yugioh.  
  
I straightened, lifting my chin in defiance; he could not hurt me if he tried.  
  
"What you think isn't worth jack shit to me Hikari. You did this – not me."  
  
I dress her up and she knocks me down  
I dress her up and she knocks me down  
  
They try her on for size  
She fits nice, one size fits all  
They try her on for size  
She fits nice, one size fits all  
  
He growled, his voice dropping to that of a conspirator and I felt my very skin crawl at the ominous waves that rushed from it. But I was not afraid…I'm not afraid…not of him…never of him…he can do nothing…nothing…nothing at all…why was my breath catching? What was this feeling that lifted through me, that made my heart pound like an enraged drum?  
  
"You couldn't stand it, could you? You had what you wanted. You had peace with 'your Ryou'. I can see everything in your mind, Yami…just as you can see into mine. I know what you thought and felt. I know what you feel now, though you deny it. You did it because you couldn't stand the thought of a life without fighting, without your precious goddamn chaos. You need it, more then anything. You need your suffering, you need your pain and you need mine to feel alive. Without it you're nothing. NOTHING."  
  
Choking…falling…hot…so hot…how could he know what I would even hide from myself? I didn't…wouldn't…no…no, he's wrong. He has to be! I'm not that shallow…am I?  
  
"And, just why do I need it so badly, Hikari?"  
  
Was that my rasping voice?   
  
I awaited his answer with my heart in my throat.  
  
"Because…it's what you love. You thought you wanted peace, a life with just 'me' and no problems attached. Just…sanctuary forever. Happiness. But that isn't what you wanted at all, is it?! You hate perfection…and in a sense that what we had. We were living the perfect life and then, THEN, right when you thought you were going to fucking SNAP from all the lack of chaos you so love…you got the perfect opportunity on a golden platter."  
  
His laughter rang around me, empty and cold. Leaving me trembling inside, ready to collapse in its merciless wake.  
  
"Anzu…little spiteful, 'have to have it all' bitch Anzu. How alike you and she are. Maybe that's why you choose her. But not the full reason. And you took it because you were afraid of what we could have had. Because you wanted me to fight, you wanted everyone to fight…and maybe on some level you thought it would bring 'your Ryou' back. You helped form him with pain…why wouldn't it work twice?"  
  
His head lifted, hands spreading out as an expression of both pain…and pride. I could feel myself crumbling, wanted to run…to run from this…from a truth I had refused to even voice within myself…   
  
"But you were wrong. 'Your Ryou' as you so nobly think of him, not a as a person, but a THING –something you could use and discard at will-, is not me…we are one…but not the same…much like you and I, Yami dearest. And he…I would have forgiven you then. I would have given ANYTHING to be with you. But you didn't want me then, and you don't want me now. Not really. So I'll save you the trouble of existing Yami. I'll end it for you…and for me. How's that?"  
  
He was right.  
  
I knew he was right.   
  
When all the illusion is stripped bare…he was completely right. I hated the perfection we had generated together. I despised it, and because of that I destroyed it. Oh, I tried to fool myself…but I couldn't…I didn't. Not really.   
  
It had all been an excuse…all of it just an elaborate excuse to distance myself from him…from what we'd shared. Dice it any way you like…but in a way I had enjoyed it. I loved the pain. I reveled in it; it was a part of who I was…who I would always be. Ryou understood that once upon a time.   
  
"End it all? HAHAHA! Hikari…do you really think you can end it? Go ahead. Throw yourself off this building and when you go back to the real world repeat it with the Domino Bridge…what do you think it's going to change, Hikari?" I mocked, "I always come back. 'Evil never dies', remember? Those are your thoughts. And you will find me again. Maybe not in another hundred years…maybe not for another five thousand…but you will. You know you will. You're tied to me…and even if you're not 'my Ryou' you are joined to my soul…just how do you plan to sever that bond?"  
  
"I don't have to sever it. And I wouldn't do you the satisfaction of suicide, Yami."   
  
I smirked. If nothing else…my fears had made him strong like I wanted. He will not bend…he will not break. With all my failures…I am redeemed with the fact that I've prepared him for the world.   
  
Glistening eyes, bright and cruel with their beauty burned into my own. He swaggered over to me. Rain poured down. How symbolic, dear Hikari. It soaked us, it took me a moment to realize that it wasn't normal rain that my Hikari had made fall in soul room, or what his emotions had caused at least.   
  
It was blood.   
  
Brilliant and warm it splattered across my flesh and soaked the black silk shirt I wore…along with my pants. Red rain…how poetic. Ryou's hair had fast turned crimson, and matted to his face. His full lips were pulled back in a snarl, his hands clinching into helpless fists as he stopped in front of me.  
  
SLAP!  
  
Watch the blood run down her face  
But don't take notice  
And watch the blood run down her arms  
Please don't take notice  
  
I didn't even register the pain of the blow, not really, though a tingling sensation up my jaw told me it should've hurt. A metallic taste filled my mouth.  
  
"You hit like a girl, Heee-karr-ee," I drawled.  
  
And punched the son of a bitch in the nose.  
  
A fresh new fountain of red spurted down from his nose and he stumbled back…but did not fall. I was surprised. His eyes glistened with tears from pain, but they did not fall. This wasn't reality. This was in our head. The only pain you could feel was a memory of it…my doppelganger Hikari obviously hasn't let go of such mortal limitations. A pity.  
  
I felt avenged then, alive. It was as he said. It did make me feel alive, in ways our love had not. It burned in my veins, this poison paradise I slipped back into. I had regretted before the lessons I'd taught 'my Ryou'. His forgiveness then had been a godsend…I loved him for that. His forgiveness, his purity…his resonant strength and weakness…He was flawed, but he was my flawed angel and I loved him for it. I loved him because he was not like Malik or like Yuugi. Neither insane nor gushing with utter naiveté and innocence… 'my Ryou' had been in a league of his very own…  
  
But this was not my Hikari…not as he once was…and the one that I did want back. Yes, I'd hated our perfection together…but I think it could have been real, in ways it could never be now, if 'my Ryou' from before had not died. I could not replace him…even with himself in a sense.   
  
I cannot accept this other half. I cannot…I tried and failed. Or maybe my dark nature was too much for me to resist. I don't know, and to be honest I don't really give a damn.   
  
Anger. Hatred. Fear. Pain.   
  
I knew none of them.  
  
I felt nothing. I was nothing. I was an empty slate in that very moment. It was invigorating.  
  
"You'll never change, Yami will you? What, are we going to repeat this every fucking life time?! Are we?! NO! I REFUSE!"  
  
His voice echoed, the defiant scream rumbled through the very air. Sizzling. Destroying. Hating and loving me all at the same time…just as I did him.  
  
"What you want is irrelevant, Hikari."  
  
"Oh, and what you want really means a damn?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And why's that?"  
  
I shrugged. What did any of it really matter? It was over. Anzu was dead. Weren't we supposed to make up and get all gooey lovey and all that mushy stuff? Weren't we suppose to be all 'oh, it was the spell, I didn't mean it…let's be together forever' bla, bla, bla.  
  
"No, it's not that fucking simple, Yami, as you well know."  
  
I raised my wall, feeling him do the same. Baka child. Looks like he actually got a mouth on him while living with Malik n' Marik. This will have to be corrected of course.  
  
"No, then what should we do then little Hikari?  
  
"I don't know, my feelings don't matter remember?" he sneered.  
  
I chuckled, "Glad you're finally catching on Hikari."  
  
"Screw you."  
  
"You wish."  
  
"No, you wish..."  
  
Was that a blush or a trick of the crimson that was still raining down?  
  
I paused.  
  
"We belong together, Ryou. Whether we like it or not. You can't change that any more then I can."  
  
"Says who?"  
  
"Says fate, shit if I know. Who ever screwed up and slapped our souls together that's who! You belong here with me."  
  
He growled. The sound bounced off my mind, feral and angry. Such fury. Vague amusement trickled through me like drops of icy water. Absurd…  
  
"Y'know…when I was 'your Ryou,' I'd of moved heaven and earth to hear that. Y'know what it means to me now?"  
  
I didn't answer. I felt the answer deep inside.  
  
"Nothing," he said slowly, savagely. "This is not where I belong any more, Yami. You couldn't accept what we had…what we would have had. Maybe I'm not your Ryou…but I'm as close as you'll ever get. But that doesn't matter. Because I'm not yours any more then he's yours any more. It's over. We're over. You made that very clear."  
  
"Things change."  
  
"Not this. I will NEVER FORGIVE YOU."  
  
The words held finality to it, more so then the way he looked at me, his jaw set so determinedly. This was not 'my Ryou' nor another Ryou…but something else…someone else shining so very clear…or had it always been there and I refused to see it? His skin pinked beneath the blood rain, it ran over him turning him a Christmas red. There we stood. Yami and Hikari…more alike then we were ever meant to be. Betrayal loomed between us, a gap I couldn't cross…nor would I.  
  
I know you have her soul  
And see it in your eyes  
She knows you have her soul  
And she sees it in your…eyes  
  
Now her soul is dead   
Now her body's raw  
Wash away her pain  
  
I hissed. The rain had become hot. Burning. Seeping through my flesh. The sight did something to me. Blood had always filled me with a lust for more, a near insane rush that boiled through my very being…it was an intoxicating feeling....  
  
I saw the blood of Ryou on my hands. My Ryou…and the one before me. Of Marik, Malik, Yuugi, the Pharaoh…and Anzu though I didn't really give a damn about that bitch.  
  
And…I felt it. I felt guilt swell inside me. I'd ripped them all apart. I'd torn Ryou apart…even if he wasn't my Ryou from before…I'd destroyed him all the same. Why? Because he couldn't live up to the memory? Because every time I watched him I'd compare him to whom he was before...?   
  
I swallowed hard. What had I done really? Ryou was devoted to me, unconditional love was all that I'd always strove for…and I'd thrown it away. I'd thrown it all away.  
  
How stupid can I be?  
  
I gritted my teeth.  
  
Too late for promises, to late for "I'm sorry." It's all too little, too late.  
  
The air rose in a mist around me. A red, roughly dyed mist. And Ryou stood there, his nose against mine, breath cold on my face. He was right. All of it…but I didn't want to accept it. Didn't want to feel the blame that so heavily rested on my shoulders...  
  
I didn't care, not really…what I did feel…wasn't and never would be enough…I couldn't stop comparing, couldn't stop wanting. Whenever I get one thing I have to have the other, it's simply in my nature. Undeniable…unbeatable. I am slave to no one but my one ambition. My greatest strength… and my greatest weakness.  
  
I can't make up my mind what I want anymore. I don't know, I JUST DON'T KNOW!  
  
I closed my eyes and wrenched myself from his grasp, from his mind and sealed myself off: out of it. Regaining my false form, I opened my eyes.  
  
Still in Anzu's apartment. I grimaced. I'd tarred here too long. Someone was bound to have either heard her screams or mine earlier. I'm not in the mood to deal with human law enforcement.   
  
I rose slowly, my body stiff.   
  
Squish, squish, squish, the carpet went as I rose. I glanced over farther in the room to see her mangled corpse. She hadn't been dead all that long, meaning I hadn't been out of it too long.  
  
Squish…Squish…squish…  
  
Amazing…some of her is still dripping. You'd think Marik would have drained her dry. Another body dead for my desires. Did it really matter? No, not at all. I take what I want, that's who and what I was. It was in my nature to take and discard without any thought of consequence. Besides…some would find it an honor to be killed by someone who had enough time to hate you so much.   
  
I chuckled at that, turning and looking out the window. Her window was actually pretty high…enough to break the bones of a normal person. But I wasn't normal nor a person…not any more. Besides, walking out her door looking like I had just killed the wench wasn't the best of ideas. I look too much like Ryou…wouldn't want him to be blamed for murder. Not to mention all the dried blood on the goals. If that didn't paint a bulls eye on my back I didn't know what would. Mortals are stupid, ignorant people…but even their attention would be drawn if I left looking like that…  
  
I smirked then. Amusing thought. My Hikari…framed for murder all because little Marik couldn't keep his control. I licked my lips. It was an intriguing thought. Why not? I do love chaos…would it be so bad to…give a little nudge to add a bit more? Besides…the look Marik's face would be priceless…to think he'd destroyed the life of the one he seemed to love so much.  
  
I felt my lips lift in a snarl. My Hikari. MINE GOD DAMNIT!  
  
And I will not allow what he has done to go without consequence…I will teach him to interfere…  
  
That thought in mind I walked to the door with a determination burning through me. I threw it open loudly, letting it bang against the wood. And with that I swaggered down the hallway with a smirk on my face, running my hand against the wall to leave a crimson trail from her room.   
  
I stopped in front of the elevator doors, shifting my weight onto one   
  
leg as I pressed the button to call the mortal device. How lazy this generation of life has become. Too frail to walk down a flight of stairs…I snorted. Their 'evolved way of working' would not last a moment in the ancient world. Pathetic vermin.  
  
Ding!  
  
I smirked at the sight before me as the doors opened. A small stature of a man stood before me dressed in dark blue pajamas and a gray robe that barely reached his shins. Thinning gray hair at the temples that instantly became matted with sweat, little beady blue eyes that were far to close together, long narrow hawk-like nose, bottom lip fuller then the top giving the appearance of a rubber band stretched over a water melon.   
  
A small gasp escaped his chattering chest, lips -- or should I say 'lip'? -- stretched across a mouth still packed with all its teeth, clutching to his thin chest the handle to the black leash that held his whimpering little dog to his side. It stared up at me, a half hearted growl escaped its throat and turned to a whimper at the end when it noticed my gaze upon it. A man's animal can usually classically display what its owner's courage amounts to. Or lack thereof.  
  
"Move."   
  
My command was meet with instant compliance as he slouched over to the far wall, hands shaking, wrinkly old face pale, misshapen lips flapping open with every wheezed breath. His beady little eyes shone with light as they looked from me to down the hall and my glistening red hands.   
  
I knew the look that passed over his face, and it filled me with a sick satisfaction. I loved it. In this moment, I was powerful again. I was Yami no Bakura reborn. No longer the fucking sissy I had been, but…something else. Some one else. And it was intoxicating.   
  
His look, it plainly said: 'please don't kill me'. It was a mark of my godlike superiority over him. I glided past him, stepping into the metallic contraption and hitting the number that would take me to the lobby. As the door closed I watched the old man's legs fail him and his quick decent to the ground. I heard the subdued 'thump' through the metal doors and could not conceal the mad cackle that escaped my throat.   
  
I left the building with ease, encountering no resistance. Not that it would've posed a threat either way. This week should be fun if my plan goes right.  
  
And I laughed, tossing any regret…any care…any emotion but the malicious amusement I felt into the backseat of my mind. There would be time later to break, to moan over what was lost and what could have been…to rage against fate for the hand it had dealt…  
  
But for now…for now I was safe inside this cocoon of hatred and fury…of this rush of power that filled me to the brim. Safe from all those accusations, from the pang inside from a mere memory…and of something that I couldn't…just couldn't bring myself to do again. Ryou was then…and this reincarnation is mortal as well. He will die. Eventually. And I will be back in the Ring. Fine. But I'm not repeating past mistakes…or past longings. That time is over. A new game has begun and I've made my move…time to wait for my opponent's.  
  
I had jumped empty-handed into the void…where I would be left I no longer knew…nor to be honest cared.  
  
She wants you to eat her pain  
She wants you to eat her remains  
  
She wants you to eat her pain  
She wants you to eat her remains

A.N-Well…how was that? I hope you liked it. What did'ja all think? I was trying to keep things from getting too…repetitive or anything…I hope you liked this chapter though…and that it wasn't too…predictable. I am trying my best to keep from that. Drop me a line on what you thought. Gomen for the lateness. I'm thinking I should have this fic finished by the end of this month….so…the end is a comin' Also, I'm sorry if this was in any way a confusing chapter... 


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